I love Fed Ex
Me: Hello, Fed Ex? I just walked outside and found a Fed Ex tag on my door. It says on it that your delivery guy left it five minutes ago, when I was home. I'm not sure why he didn't knock. Anyhow, can I pick it up today at your offices?
Fed Ex: Let me check to see if the driver can come back right now. (10 minute delay). Sorry, he says he has left your area and can't come back.
Me: Well, can I pick it up at your offices?
Fed Ex: Sure, no problem.
Me: Where is it?
Fed Ex: About 20 miles away.
Me: Gee, that's strange. I live in a city of a quarter million people. I'd think you would have a closer office than that. But, ok, I'll come get it. What time do you close?
Fed Ex: 5:00.
Me: And what time do you expect the package to be back at your offices?
Fed Ex: Around 8:00.
Me: Well that won't work very well, will it?
Fed Ex: No, I'm sorry, it won't. But we can deliver it for you on Tuesday between 9 and 5.
Me: That won't work either. I work for a living and can't stay home all day waiting for a package.
Fed Ex: I understand.
Me: Well, can I pick it up at your office on Monday?
Fed Ex: No, that office is closed on Monday. That's why they won't be delivering it until Tuesday.
Me: Well, can I pick it up at your office on Tuesday?
Fed Ex: Sure, come by any time before 5:00.
Me: Remember that thing I said about working for a living? It's real tough for me to leave work early enough to fight through traffic to go 20 miles out of my way to your office before 5:00.
Fed Ex: You can pick it up next Saturday.
Me: So, the shipper went through the trouble of sending this by Fed Ex because he had some sense of urgency. And you're telling me I have to wait an extra week?
Fed Ex: Yes, sir, I'm sorry.
Me: Can you re-route it to my office?
Fed Ex: No, I'm sorry, the shipper has placed a restriction on the package.
Me: So the only way for me to get my package is to wait a week and drive 20 miles to get it?
Fed Ex: That's correct.
Me: Will Fed Ex keep trying to deliver it to my empty home in the meantime, and then send it back to the shipper?
Fed Ex: Well, to prevent that, we need to make an entry in the system?
Me: Can you please do that?
Fed Ex: I'm sorry, you'll have to call back after the package is returned to the office at 8 pm tonight.
Me: Great.
Fed Ex: Have a nice day!
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