[kailes2872]

I wanted to post here because I think so much of so many of you and I have done deals with many of you as well. In many ways, this site is my second home.

I lost my dog today. His name was Sampson. We called him Sammy. He was originally my mother in law's dog until she died in September 2010. He was a chihuahua/terrier mix. He was about 9 pounds soaking wet and he never, ever barked.

When my MIL died, my son (11 at the time) asked if we could take Sampson. I had a dog before that. A beautiful Shetland Sheepdog named Jasmine. My wife and I took her home from the kennel 6 weeks after we were married in 1996. She was our baby before we had babies and I loved her so much. Right after Christmas in 2007 she was diagnosed with severe congestive heart failure and we had to make a very difficult decision to put her down and 11.5.

I cried all night and decided that I was never going to be a dog owner again because the pain of loss was too much. Therefore, when we got Sampson, I declared that he was Conner's dog. I wasn't going to take him outside. He could sleep with him. I would feed him and make sure that he had a warm home, but he was their dog.

Over the last 6-12 months, Sammy has deteriorated. He lost all controls of his bowels and we make a mess where he sat. He lost weight and could no longer keep himself up when he went to the bathroom. I would have to hold him up. Because his functions were unpredictable, he spent more time in his cage. He could not see or hear and would continually run into things. When he went outside, he would walk in circles until he fell down.

It felt like it was time, but it just didn't feel like my place to decide when it was time for him. I wouldn't want the kids to make the decision about me when I became too much to handle.

We decided that it was getting close. Conner asked me to wait until he got home for his first semester of college. He got home yesterday. Today, we went and saw the new Star Wars movie and after it was over, when we got home, we took Sampson to the vet.

I took him in and explained our situation. I was actually hoping that the vet would tell me to put on my big boy pants and deal with a geriatric dog. Instead, she said that his quality of life was very poor. He was doing circles and she suggested that he might have a tumor or an inner ear issue. She said that Euthanasia was probably the best thing for him.

I signed a couple of things and then, after we had some time with him, I handed him over to her. Sampson trusted me - he always trusted me. I was tolerant of him but had grown to like him over the years. He was a good dog.

Instead, I handed him to a lady that sedated him and then gave him an overdose of an anesthetic. She did it on my orders. A few minutes later, the nice vet brought him back on a bed covered up. Conner and I cried for a few minutes and then we left. We are going to have him cremated. We will take his ashes and spread them over Carrie's mom's grave.

I am bummed. I didn't want to cry like this again and I tried to keep my distance - but the darn little thing became my little friend and now he is gone.

I am sorry for emoting. You guys are my second family and I needed to get these feelings down as this is a really sad day!