OK, time to 'fess up

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Posted By: warshawlaw

A recent post by ubqity said the following:

"I recently came clean with my wife regarding my actual card purchases and amounts spent. I too tried to make right my behavior I was uncomforable with. I told her I'd be willing to sell some cards to make it right and she said OK. Now I'm trying to salvage the situation so that only a minimal portion must go."

Has this happened to any of you? If so, how did you handle it?

I got caught a few months before the National having to explain a large credit card bill; I had to fall back on the "it's an investment" thing. Fortunately, I had the evidence to back it up.

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Posted By: Steve M.

My wife has trusted my handling of the finances and investments for 32 years. She lives a good life in peaceful bliss, oblivious of my purchases. I'm not real sure she would want to know or for that matter care.

Edited to add:

My wife has read this thread and is comfortable with the comments I have made.

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Posted By: john/z28jd

Well a few years ago i had to explain to my dad why my money market account he made me start a couple years earlier was now empty but hes a believer in the investment angle too now. It seems to be the best way to go,but make sure you have your proof on hand at all times to help your case.

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Posted By: steve yawitz

Separate. Checking. Accounts.

http://imageevent.com/yawie99

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Posted By: jeff drum

Wife and I both work. After bills are paid and pre-agreed money is saved each month we both have our mad money. I buy cards, she does what ever she wants to do. Only in the event an opportunity arose that would force me to without a portion of the savings allotment would I need to fess up. Happens but not often.

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Posted By: scott brockelman

My wife knows of all my activities and is fully supportive, like Steve's as long as she covered it doesn't matter to her. She has poor taste though, dislikes Ramly's and likes T206's

She doesn't even give me crap about my online poker, I am getting better though.

With the kid, I just tell her I am spending her inheritance. Really makes her squirm.

Scott

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Posted By: Anonymous

Haven't heard a peep from my wife since I caught her kiting the mortgage check to buy china twenty years ago.

In her defense, with the pound at parity to the dollar at that time, the china proved to be a shrewd purchase as well.

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Posted By: Gilbert Maines

Like Jeff Drum & yawie.

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Posted By: Judge Dred (Fred)

Wow, I am flabbergasted to read all of this. All of you that have not revealed your spending habits to your wives must be quivering in your boots. You should have just started out with having your wives looking for Gucci knockoffs at second hand stores. That can of Purina Cat Chow isn't so bad when you mix it with Hamburger Helper (Tuna Casserole mix, I don't recommend the Pizza mix). You can buy a case of Perrier and then refill the bottles from the garden hose and you again will have bottled water. I'm not sure that sharing these tips is a good idea because now you'll have more money to try to outbid me on stuff.

Justification:

A Gucci bad will only get worn out and it will go out of stylle. You'll spend hundreds on it and it'll be worth about 2% of the purchase price by the time it's done being used.

Cat food (premium brands only) can be a nutricious source of protein and complex carbohydrates. Sure, it's an acquired taste but once you get used to it you'll be that much closer to getting the nice T206 Cobb you've been waiting for.

Bottled water is over rated. One more tip (same subject) recycle your Starbucks cups and brew your own joe at home. You can still at least look cool holding a Starbucks cup every morning.

Hell, I would have to guess that most of us are fearing the day our wives figure out that the Hawaiian vacation we promised two years ago is actually sitting in our safes, desk drawers or binders. We could probably black mail each other by threatening to tell each others wives our ebay account names and how to search what each of us is buying. I've thought about doing that to each and every one of you guys that outbids me on cards I really want. Then it dawned on me that I'd be screwed too... ok, it's an unwritten rule and law that should be part of the Net54 VBC code of conduct - what the wife doesn't know, she just doesn't know...! All agreed, say I!

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Posted By: Trae R.

Mine fully supports the hobby/habit - she knows it's what makes me happy. I share with her and regularly discuss my purchases.

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Posted By: Joe D.

shuffled some money around to buy the astoria postcard...

now I am working on putting that money back.


I joke about it like my wife is tapping her foot...
but she has trust and faith in me and really doesn't give me any grief about it.

at the same time... I do have to get that money back


Edit: Edit to say - Steve that was one funny edit!

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Posted By: paulstratton

Man Law?

Don't ask, Don't tell is my personal philosophy. It is an imperfect method however.

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Posted By: David Smith

Well, if you never get married and/or have kids, then you don't have to fess up about anything. Also, theoretically, you have more time and money to devote to your collection. Plus, you also don't have to worry about the collection when divorce time comes around.....

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Posted By: warshawlaw

I got caught. Big difference.

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Posted By: Judge Dred (Fred)

Adam,

Are we getting sloppy in our golden years? I bet 10 years ago it wasn't even a consideration...

I guess wives are getting more and more savvy about these cardboard obsessions. They probably have each and every card in our collections cataloged without our knowledge. If a divorce comes about then we're all going to be screwed...

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Posted By: warshawlaw

it isn't the IRS that scares me, it is the spouse

No one deals in cash because it is convenient, it is just the only way to keep her from knowing what we have.

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Posted By: Bob

Benign ignorance of the extent of my spending habits is the keyword around my household. I let her buy anything she wants, and she is fairly frugal, and in return she knows I won't go ape-s$%# buying cards which are too expensive. I also explain to her from time to time how it will all be hers someday and what she needs to do to dispose of the collection in the best financial way for her and the kids. I have tried explaining to her the theory of "flipping" cards to buy more cards, but I am not sure if she believes me

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Posted By: Dave Williams

An occasional card comes to the house, the rest go to the business P.O. Box.

As for the money to pay for everything, well, lets just say my business deals in a lot of cash sales, and I've got the books for my banker, the books for the IRS, and the actual books (just kidding...)

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Posted By: eric-gi

I haven't had a problem so far. When the mrs. gave me crap one time about my spending habits on tobacco ephemera, I just gave her a copy of the "good wife" memo. Aaaaaahhhh....... the good ole days.

Eric

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Posted By: Max Weder

It was seemingly a problem even in vintage times...



Max

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Posted By: nbrazil

i'm single...

in the words of george costanza..."autonomy, jerry!!...autonomy!"

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Posted By: judd hamlin

I learned from my father, whose weakness is old postcards and other ephemera on the White Fleet-- spouses do not come to card/paper shows. My wife doesn't have anything against cards, just me spending money on them. I don't go overboard at any one time and try and keep most of my spending in cash. I only got aught once, about 9 years agoa nd have been very careful since.

By the way, why are we all using our real names here?

Ship to work, always.
Money orders (it's worth the .95)

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Posted By: Joe D.

I've used the money order for that exact reason.

PayPal too.

great stuff.

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Posted By: David Vargha

Eric, that is some funny stuff. I have saved it into "My Documents" for further study by my wife.

DavidVargha@hotmail.com

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Posted By: BcD

is happier than a pig on slop!

Ever since I bought her one of these from her favorite movie I can buy whatever I want~

http://cgi.ebay.com/50-Leg-Lamp-A-Christmas-Story-The-Only-Perfect-Replica_W0QQitemZ270032103254QQihZ017QQcategoryZ14 67QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item2 70032103254>



She has gone to 100 card shows with me since maybe 1984 or so. Like Scott she does not like T-204s but prefers the E-93s! In face she purchased an E-93 Cobb from John Spalding in 1990 for me at a show and it nicely displayed on my dresser (in front of our family picture) in a PSA 5 holder~ She paid John $375 for it! the nice price!

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Posted By: dan mckee

My wife dare not say a word, she is in a brand new house because of cards!

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Posted By: Hal Lewis

A new house that was bought for her by the original "Alpha Male"!!

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Posted By: Mark Evans

Congrats, Dan, on the new abode.

My wife and I have no shared financial accounts. We pay for joint expenses in a rough ratio to our earnings (now, pensions). Thus, neither of us gets involved in the other's discretionary purchases. I'm not suggesting that this system would work for everyone, but it has served us well for over 20 years. Mark

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Posted By: Bill Todd

...and I buy baseball cards.

_Hi, Bill, we understand. We do too._

I thought I was the only one paying cash/MOs and having things shipped to the office. You guys are the best support group. *I love you, man.*

My wife found out about a W-601 about ten years ago, and hasn't let go of the matter since. Of course, all I have to do is look meaningfully at her HUGE piles of fabric and things settle down.

Bill

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Posted By: BcD

we know.......you buy cards!

I want my Matty back I sold you four years ago!

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Posted By: dan mckee

Mark, that is EXACTLY how my wife and I live. Every thing is separate. She can come in with 15 pairs of shoes and me $40K in baseball cards. As long as each is covering their share of the bills based on income. 18 years and we have never had a money fight!! Now her boyfriends piss me off! Dan.

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Posted By: leon

My wife hasn't said a thing since the Trucker Boy deal....a few years ago. I am opposite of a few though...everything we have is together. I am the profit center and she is the cost center....she takes care of the house, kid, dog etc...I take care of the money...she's goyem and I am not..(that's a joke..sort of)

edited for spelling

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Posted By: Alan

Good one Leon !!!
LOL

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Posted By: Dan Koteles

though she cannot believe that some cards sell for what they do ,she will say, it is your money do what you want with it.

She will rarely ever ask for anything, she has seen many rewards
and my elations when finding some card that excites me. This is good enough for her.

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Posted By: Dave Rey

Not only does my wife collect huge piles of fabric that I can always point to, but she also has collected baseball cards for 25 years...

She's got a pretty nice collection -- mostly 1950s and up...