Baseball's Twilight Zone

[doug.goodman]

Amazing

[frankbmd]

Originally Posted by edjs

The problem with this vision is that the weather here travels from west to east, carrying the smog with it. Then it runs into the San Gabriel's, and the smog gets stuck right around Mt.Baldy, Arrowhead, and Big Bear mountains. Settling in nicely right over Rancho Cucamonga.

Originally Posted by oldjudge

Actually, since I have the ability to see the future, I will tell you what actually happens. What you have hypothesized was on the path to happening when several pitchers were injured when hit by line drives off the then new titanium bats. There was public outcry that the game had become too dangerous so, on June 18, 2041, the Rancho Cucamonga Dodgers (they left Los Angeles in 2027 due to the deadly air pollution levels) premiered the first robotic pitcher, Mr Zip. Mr Zip could pitch complete games every game. This eliminated pitcher injuries and paid for itself in saved salaries in less than a season. Within a year all teams had their own versions of Mr Zip (except the Mets-they were still under an austerity program caused by the hit that ownership had taken from the Madoff fraud). In 2058, the first robotic pitcher was inducted into the intergalactic HOF, Tin Cook, the much beloved hurler from the S F Apples (purchased by company in 2038 with name changed six years later). Not only was Tin the premier moundsman of his (or her) day, but he/she could concurrently pitch, photograph fans in the stand, and grill hot dogs. Those pictures were immediately available for purchase at special Apple fan booths around the stadium.

Tommy LaSorda, yes the Tommy LaSorda, is still active in personal injury law firm advertising. He’s smarter than he looks. He has recently purchased the parking lot at the stadium, yes there is one, in Rancho Cucamonga, the future home of big league Dodger Blue. Cucamongans are already donating to his future sect, a la Jim Jones and the People’s Temple Agricultural Project, calling themselves Tommy’s Cucamongan turkeys. And yes Tommy’s sect is already holding rallies in the aforementioned parking lot. By 2043 the congregation will have grown to over 500,000. On August 23rd there will be a rare simultaneous occurrence in the parking lot of breathtaking smog and gut wrenching dysentery caused by a deadly viral infestation of that day’s Dodger dogs. The parking lot will be used as a mass grave. The personal injury lawyers will cash in and Tommy, who became a partner in the firm in 2037, will walk away with billions.
Now you know the rest of the story.