New Rules

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Posted By: warshawlaw 

Bill Maher has a great show on HBO and at the end he lays out "new rules" for conduct based on particularly egregious or stupid stories in the news. Here are some new rules for ebay:

New Rule: Any seller who emails me asking for feedback before posting theirs doesn't friggin' get it. Ever. Even if the item comes in and is better than expected.

New Rule: Any buyer who posts negative comments with a positive feedback designation shall be forced to write 100 times "I will stand up for what I believe and will not behave like a mealy-mouthed crapweasel".

New Rule: Any seller who closes a listing for a fake item by invoking God shall be forced to read the entirety of the Jim Bakker criminal fraud trial transcript and pass a written ethics examination before being permitted to sell another item.

New Rule: Anyone who claims to be selling cards to pay for an illness must post a letter from their doctor explaining the circumstance or they shall be summarily infected with that illness if they cannot comply. Don't exploit sympathies towards sick people...

New Rule: Anyone who claims to be selling cards to pay for a child's education shall post the child's SAT results. Any child with a score lower than the minimum eligibility level for NCAA athletes shall be presumed too stupid to attend college and the listing shall be voided.

New Rule: Any seller caught key word spamming by using the term PSA, SGC, GAI or Becketts in a listing that does not in fact sell a card graded by one of those services shall be forced to eat a holder from the service in question. Comparisons are ok (e.g., this SGC card is comparable to a PSA card). If they don't want to eat it, we can find another means of administration...