:D

Cats

I always feel bad for him, but I always root against himhttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...73018d0db4.jpg

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Not a picture, but I picked these up years ago at a mortgage lenders convention. The company was advertising their new "jumbo" mortgages and giving out these rubber "squishy" toys. With the baseball theme, I couldn't resist taking them, but now I wonder if they are politically correct this decade.

Those are cool. Don't worry, the PC warriors will change what is and isn't PC very soon.:)

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Not a picture but seriously funny, especially the USPS part.:D

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills, ambition, or work ethic.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, longtime AWNAA supporters. "This is why many of them voted for us. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

President Obama pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and fast food restaurants (65%).

President Obama has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled persons for top government positions, including many cabinet-level jobs. Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire two clueless workers for every one talented hire.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her chronic incompetence. "This new law should really help people like me."

Once this bill is signed into law, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Mr. Obama, "It is our duty as national leaders to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

THIS IS HUMOR SO PLEASE NO SILLY POLITICAL COMMENTS.:D

That's really funny Ben, because it sounds so believable.

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Some of my favorites

The support dog is awesome.:D

I laughed too. I like THE ONION.

It is believable. It's called the universal income, it's still just a theory, and individuals would be paid simply for breathing. They voted on it in Switzerland, and it did not pass. But as more jobs are lost to automation, liberal economists believe that the universal income will become necessary. It's phased out based on income. It's believed that wealthier countries will have to eventually pass legislation like this, or expand social welfare to support the members of society who have been left behind by an automated society.

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I don't understand how unemployment was at a record low before the pandemic. It seems to me that however much automation is developed, there will always be productive things (jobs) for people to do.

Since we are going there.:D The problem is that the population is getting dumber/lazier by the second. You don't see a doctor and a lawyer that are married having several kids. Unfortunately it is Cleatus and Velvita having 8 kids in the trailer park.

^This^ is part of a Chris Porter joke.:D

If you like stand up check Chris out he is hilarious.

If you pay people to sit on the couch, millions of people will take you up on the offer and sit on the couch.

Since sitting on the couch requires no education or effort of any kind, there will be no incentive for these people to not become (or remain) dumb and lazy. All they will need to know is which candidates are promising the most freebies.

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I'm not saying I agree with it, just that the funny article posted is based on a real economic theory that has actually been voted on in a real country (Switzerland).

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I think the idea isn't to replace jobs. I believe it's based on the fact that some products not calculated into inflation (medical and housing) have far outpaced inflation. So a universal income is supposed to be a govt effort that really should be paid by employers.

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This.

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Friday funny.

Can you tell I'm divorced?

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Not a funny picture but a funny link to a parody video of a break. Someone over on BO posted it so I figured I would share it over here for the few that don't read both forums.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqXWJtta_84

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That is hilarious.

What a buffoon.


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A friend sent a bunch to me so figured I would share a few.

I saw the one for Shack of Sit yesterday. It had a caption that said something like, "I couldn't last a day answering the phone for this place."

Well, I am almost ashamed to admit I didn't make it through the 1st reading. I swear it said sack of sit.

And some more:

This is an actual ad that appeared on billboards all over metro Detroit. I think I must have been the only one to see the humor in it.

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This would be appropriate for the gun ownership thread.

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oh so very very true :D

delete

Here are a few more.

:D

An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast.

These are great especially the bus driver one

This struck me as pretty funny...

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My takeaway from the middle seller is if you buy five $5000 cards you get rewarded with $5 off. Well, $24,995 is a heckuva lot better than $25,000. Awesome!!!!! :D

Just a few chuckles:

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confusing but Nice

Copyright @Deertickles

Who in there right fucking mind would find that pic funny, let alone post it?
Fucking weirdo!!!

edited out your picture of what you, I guess, thought was funny in some severe child sexual assault animation. I will just give an infraction as you have been here so long., But that was sick bordering on illegal...
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I'm sorry. It is a disturbing image and poor judgment on my part to share it here.

Just to be clear, it was an actual defaced sign, in an actual McDonalds bathroom, that I reported to the ownership group. Not some artistic doodle I came up with.

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A souvenir from the first hotel room I rented myself. Circa 1980.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

For Sale. Pick up only.

Uh-oh!

....

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Subway

Loo with a view

very very cool

Wondering if it has all the right permits:D:D:D

Chinese balloon seen over Boston


https://www.flickr.com/photos/142640...8/52722430246/

Do dumps need permits?

Received a violation and revocation of their license for lack of TP;)

I did go through it

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Here are a few funny ones.

Not a picture but funny.

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises,
two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

Well," said the man, "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife,
when on a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.
While we were looking for our balls, I noticed one of the cows had
something in its rear end. I walked over and lifted the tail, and sure
enough,
there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the
middle
of the cow's butt."

That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I was lifting the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks
like yours!"

I don't remember much after that!"

like it although those rounded corners look about as sharp as some of the corners on some of my cards:)

It just needs a few creases to look like some of my better cards. :p

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