Getting old
 

As I start to head towards the sixth decade of life, I certainly don't feel "old," whatever that means. Yes, the knees are achy and the back is stiff, and all that usual stuff. But what really concerns me is what I see almost inevitably happened among people as they age. . . . they just to seem to slowly get stuck in a rut over time and stop trying new things. It's why a certain unnamed political party and TV network always seems to be focused on the "good old days" when everything was so so much better than today. Everything is shit and boy is that sad. It's like people get to a certain age and think "ok, now I need to stop listening to new music . . . stop watching new movies. . . stop taking adventures." I find it all very depressing. When someone my age tells me there is no good music anymore and it is all crap and how all they listen is The Who and The Rolling Stones, I just shake my head. There is ton and tons of great music today. But you stopped looking for it. I have kids in my 20s and they introduce me to music and podcasts and new celebrity types. Yeah, some of it stinks. But some of it is super smart and better than what I was listening to at their age. But most of my friends seems to be already of the mind that everything cool stopped happening years ago. My wife and I have many friends who are just stunned that we still go to ROCK CONCERTS. Same people who say oh baseball is terrible today, football isn't what it used to be, basketball horrible, and everything else just sucks too.

Obviously people shook their heads in dismay as to the younger generation and everything they stood for in the 20s, 30s, 40s, etc., etc. But why?

I spoke to a much older once guy and he said to me "as you get older you just get to a point where you feel like you've done everything you want to do." Shit I hope that's not where I end up.

I just turned 50, and I agree with everything you just said. I doubt I've done 10% of what I eventually want to do. I'm grateful I have a daughter in her 20's who introduces me to new stuff all the time, even if I don't get it at first.

She still can't get me to play video games with her though...... mostly because they frustrate me because I'm just not any good at them. :(

My own parents still go on adventures. They hike, kayak, bike, travel, plant elaborate gardens in their yard, go to concerts and plays during times that allow it, and keep active all the time.

We disagree on some things, but it's generally respectful.......and even when my dad and I get heated on certain things, we finish it off with a beer and a handshake.

I hope I'm smart enough to continue that philosophy as I get older.

Sort of headed for 60 myself..

I'm sort of split between the two outlooks. Some new stuff is amazing, some... not so much. And often all in the same object.
Like a cell phone, which in many cases is good at a lot of stuff, but sucks at being... a phone! Good enough sound quality to play music, but phone calls can still be like cups and strings.
Great at internet, sort of, as long as the website is adjusted for mobile.
Yet oddly, my desktop that has in comparison nearly unlimited resources can stream stuff, while the phone that has limited memory, bandwidth, etc. has to download even simple games the desktop plays in the browser... Who the _ made that decision?
And I wish I could find a way to charge people upwards of $500 maybe even a thousand for a device that will be "old" at 3 years, and terribly obsolete well before 10 years.

Sports are different for sure, we are getting to see some amazing players, especially in football.
But for all that, Basketball seems to be going the soccer route with a lot of acting and refs who cant even take a simple "Who? Me?" from a player.
Between 92 when the first dream team showed what basketball could be, and say 1996 when dream team 2 had devolved into a bunch of set pieces for the stars (The game I was at one guy missed an alley oop dunk on three consecutive plays.. nope, no theatre there.:rolleyes:)

Baseball is getting into the NFL thing of massive yearly rule changes. Some of them strictly amateur softball.... double header games are only 7 innings.. extra innings start with a runner on second?!
And while the platers are great, the angst over any pitch on the inner part of the plate, let alone inside and off the plate and maybe even high in the zone?
Ok, if you can't dodge, you could get hurt, and with the money these guys make if it cuts the career a year short they lose millions. But it's still pretty weak..

Football is an odd one, some of the rules seem wussy, but then, it's less usual to see retired players nearly crippled or worse. And as another positive, we're getting to see a bunch of historically good players for a lot longer.

They still play hockey? I knew once they started playing in places that don't have naturally occurring ice it was all downhill. Now get off my lawn!:D

Of course cycling has to join in. A decades long tradition of throwing water bottles and bidons (the bags full of food they get along the route) all emblazoned with the sponsors logos to the crowds has been abruptly ended, with fines for disposing of things outside certain areas where the teams have guys with trash barrels stationed. Nobody is sure that if a bottle gets tossed and bounces off the barrel because the guy doing 25mph may not be all that accurate, and ends outside the zone ... does the rider get fined? The team? The guy holding the trash can? (who probably makes darn near nothing already. )
They say it for rider safety, or the environment... but it's not like the fans let any of that stuff stay on the side of the road.

Some of todays music is very good. I can't think of anyone like a Hendrix or Clapton, or any one of maybe 50 other bands/performers. But the new ones also haven't really had the time, and are playing in an era where maybe rock and pop bands aren't really seen as being "special"? I certainly don't think we'll see anything like the Beatles arriving in the US for the first time.

And that gets to another interesting thing.
The way we view things and sell things is very different from when I was a kid. The stuff we can buy is sometimes way better!
But perhaps because it IS better, and is fairly cheap and abundant, it's no longer "special" and it's not sold as anything special.
Take matchbox cars.
The first few I bought, there was a display with one of each in that years lineup. Once you'd selected the one you wanted, the clerk would get one out of the cabinet. It was a bit of a big deal! (Ok, maybe for a 5-6 year old. probably a lot less so for the clerk)
Then HotWheels came out, on a card with a badge! But you just picked one off the hook and took it to the register. (Johnny Lightning too, which I really liked better)
Eventually Matchbox caved and went with carded little cars, and that specialness was lost. Or changed. Maybe the kids 10 years younger saw the selecting one from the pegboard as "special"

My kids are 8 and 10, and show me stuff they think is cool. And some of it really is. My older daughter showed me some wonderful art restoration videos, and just yesterday sent me a link to a video about a very rare Nintendo DS game used by McDonalds in Japan to train the crew. And how this guy managed to buy one with the needed password, get it to the US through covid restrictions on mail and travel, plus a bunch of other stuff, and finally make a video about playing it. Which turns out to be the second, as the other guy who had a copy managed to hack the password after a few years and posted his video a couple days earlier. Cool stuff.

One of he better hobby days was taking her to a big stamp show and getting to see a hobby I've enjoyed for decades through a new set of eyes that saw a lot of very "ordinary" stuff as new and exciting.

Look! this one has an extra bit of paper! Is it special?
Yes, that means it was on the edge of the sheet.
Wow! really? So we can tell where it was because it has a bit of extra paper?
Yep, pretty cool! :D
And so on, for most of the stamps in the little envelope.
Many shows around here the club runs a "fishbowl" a quarter for a small envelope with around 20 stamps in it, and maybe a prize ticket. Fun stuff. Maybe it would work at a card show, but most don't allow anything like that because of the 90's dealers running dice games.

Didn't intend for that to be so long. Ah well....

Nah, totally enjoyed reading.

You mentioned about so many things today are different and just taken for granted. Think of all the choices in restaurants today. Even 25 years ago, in most parts of the country you would be hard pressed to find anything even closely resembling real asian or other ethnic food, or to even find ingredients to make non US food in the supermarket. I remember even a few years ago people started going gaga over avocados, like someone just invented them.

I would never argue that everything is great today. Modern culture has a lot of garbage elements. Mostly the obsessive "look at me" nonsense on social media. No, no one cares what you had for breakfast today. They really don't. And it's not important. But being around my kids and their friends doesn't fill me with despair like it apparently does for many older folks. I see a lot of great things in the current generation that give me great hope. And there is so much amazing art in so many areas. The only depressing thing is when I see some insane you artist and realize they weren't born yet when I was already from school and already years into my career.

It's a timeless phenomenon. I am reminded of Herman Hesse's Steppenwolf, where the narrator, a classical music purist, cannot adapt to the music (and mores) of the Jazz Age -- or can he?

And of my Dad, also a classical purist, who HATED the music my brothers and I listened to, which happened to be the classic rock of the 60s and early 70s. He never did get it, thought it all sounded the same.

It's funny about the food.
I live in a smallish city with a fairly large Asian population. There are tons of choices, to the point that it's a bit difficult to find an old fashioned non-chain non-trendy place that serves typical "american" food. If I want a nice normal burger, I'm mostly out of luck. If I want a burger made from cattle fed in some cattle shangri-la with goat cheese, free range organic bacon etc, I can get it. But it would pretty much blow the fun budget for the month.

I'm amazed at the stuff the kids have easy access to, and how well it's explained.
A few years ago my oldest was watching science videos. One night she asked
"Daddy.. tell me about... (as I'm thinking oh C___ here comes the question I'll try to dodge and defer to mom... )
Quantum Physics..

Wasn't expecting that.

So tonight I sent her a cartoon I saw on facebook. A vetrinarian coming into the waiting room saying "Mr Schroedinger I have good news and bad news about your cat"
And she totally got the joke.

At 10 the jokes I got were more likely to be three stooges, or something.

A different world for sure.

Loved Herman Hesse in college. Read 5 or 6 of his books. Always wanted to go back and reread one or two but haven't had a chance.

Maybe the moral of the story is you need to stayed wired into younger people. Easily done if you have kids.

When I go to my folks winter community in Florida is always stunning to sit around the pool and hear Doris Day and Bobby Darin. Both wonderful artists but a bit dated at this point.

Great comments so far and a fun read!

I'm not sure I would define it as a rut as much as 'set in your ways'. And either way I wouldn't necessary give it a negative connotation. If you've always been constantly on the lookout for new things, then is that your "rut"? Parents who "still go on adventures", implying it is something they've done previously (and probably frequently), sounds like they are in a "rut" as well. Am I in a rut because I've always, and continue to, question more than I answer? Probably.

I think the real problematic rut is not questioning everything on what you think or believe. It doesn't mean you automatically give up what you believe, but at least critically question it. And on a regular basis. Because memory is a funny thing. We reminisce about the good old days because well, remembering the good makes us feel good. We look forward for the future, but only as it pertains to something positive. Which helps explain the popularity of the 'good old days' network as well as the 'what if / prognostication' network. Sans trauma, that's what we do.

New music does suck, but so does old music. It's just that we don't (subconsciously) remember all the crappy stuff we listened to. And who chooses to re-listen to the crap when there was good stuff to re-listen to? And old good stuff to still be discovered. Isn't that 'new' music to the discoverer?

That said:

• I love listening and being turned on to new music. Though auto-tuning will always suck.
  
• The home run derby baseball is for the instant gratification crowd. But there are few plays in baseball more exiting than the triple. Especially with men on base.
  
• Regarding instant gratification, the microwave still takes too long.
  
• I would watch Teen Titans Go! whether or not my grandson is there.
  
• As a small L libertarian, I don't get the negative connotation of 'get off my lawn' when used by other libertarians.
  
• As we get older, it's not as much a rut as 'I don't give an F what others think', evidenced by wearing black socks with sandals.
  
• Not everything is shit. But 90% of it is. Or at least it's crud. :) Would that include 90% of change as well?

Great topic and thoughts!

I'm 45 and over the pandemic picked up skateboarding again with my son, after 20 yrs of not skating. He picked it up fast and fearless. I can't do what I once did but I'm having a great time. Wih that I'm getting back into music that I listened to years ago, but took a back burner. While its rehashing the past, it is getting out of the day to day mindset.

The small town that I live in is going through major gentrifictaion, kicked into overdrive by NYC people fleeing the city. Change is real hard for locals, myself included. Slow change is meaningful and lasting. Most people accept and adapt. Being steam rolled by quick progression can leave people bitter and angry. There are some institutions and "old ways" that are worth perserving and passing down that link us as a community. Throwing the baby out with the bath water creates division.

That said, I hope the younger generation reject the nonsense internet junk. It has done a lot of damage to people across generations. I think the children will be pissed that mommy and daddy shared there whole life on facebook.

Steve,

While I'm a few years younger, I did find some of what you said very relatable. While I'm only in my third decade of life, I do notice that it becomes a little bit harder to throw myself into a new band or musical artist, or start a new hobby. Even being a young man, I'm much more prone to stick to the hobbies or music I'm apart of rather than try something new.

Even with sports, my childhood was not too long ago, but I used to be able to faithfully keep up with every player, both on the teams I followed and around the leagues? Now I can barely keep track. I know some of the rookies sure, but as time goes on and more responsibilities come up it becomes harder.

I've talked to my parents about this along with a group of older gentleman who I have coffee with frequently. They speak a lot about finding joy in the things they already love, living through the younger members of their family's or rediscovering hobbies they may have dropped a long the way. I think it's very easy to get "stuck in our ways" for certain things, and sure it's difficult to keep things interesting, but if there's one thing the older generations tell me to do is never stop learning and enjoying life. I think I'm rambling a little bit though!

Back to the point at hand, many of them still go to concerts or games. Sure it's different but I think that's the point. It's fun to reminisce and think about how things once were, and sure there are things that we would love if they never changed, but change is a part of life. An important part that will always happen. While difficult you can find the joy and love in the things you once did or still do even if they become a little different. Gradual change is a little bit easier to handle than rapid one, that's the one thing that I think is troubling about certain things today. In the internet age, everything changes so quickly. One day something is happening and then the next we are onto something new.

However I do think all of us will have our moments where we are the "old man yells at cloud"

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...44/247/297.png

I guess do what makes you happy, and don't care if someone else thinks you are too old to do it.

I remember a few years ago my wife wanted to see Bruno Mars for her birthday. Sure I knew who he was. I figured we'd be the oldest people there and it would suck. Instead there were people there from 80 to 8, and he was tremendous. Was a great experience and I'm glad we went and I didn't think "oh jeez, I'm too old for that."

Ramble away James. You'll find no complaints from me :)

I like some "new" bands, or at least new music from sort of new bands.
The last concerts I went to were Experience Hendrix - lots of great guitar players plus Billy Cox, who was doing autographs in the lobby before and after.
And Halestorm before that.

My source of info about new rock groups is gone... WAAF got bought and somewhat suddenly changed into a christian contemporary station during it's 50th anniversary year.

AAF is gone? Damn I haven't been back to Mass. in 12 years. BCN & AAF were the real deal when I was comin' up. Silly Question.....IS BCN still there and still the same?

Steve,

I heard about that a while back, If I remember correctly didn't they end their broadcast with a few songs centered around Satan and Hell, to commemorate them being taken over by the Christian station? Pretty funny if you ask me.

Here in NY we have a solid station for Classic rock, Q 104.3. Mostly stuff from the 60's to the early 90's. Which makes me shudder that now the 90's are considered classic rock! I always thought of groups like Boston, Styx, Chicago, Queen, etc as classic rock. When I turn on the radio and suddenly hear Pearl Jam or Green Day, off the station I always do a double take.

Once in a while they'll occasionally mix in or promote newer stuff but it's mostly the era of bands I outlined above. When it comes to newer stuff, I'll go to some of my friends who are still deeply entrenched in the music scene for recommendations. Would be nice if Record/Cassette/CD Stores became a thing again, just a place to gather, socialize and talk about new and old music.

I am in my 60’s now and I have not done everything that I want to do yet. We are working on that now as a matter of fact. My wife is scoping out homes in a senior community for us to retire to.

I plan on working a couple more years……less if things fall into place and heading for the next chapter in our lives. I will say that I don’t like the new music cause for me, it sucks. I live the Bob Seger phrase “I like that old time rock and roll, that kind of music that soothes the soul.”

But to say I may be in a rut? No, I don’t feel that way at all. I simply know what I like and at this point in my life I am comfortable with me and my wife. We have no kids so it is just us.

We plan on traveling the states visiting many national parks and civil war battle sites. These are things that interest us and we are gonna have a blast. All the while rocking out to music we like and just enjoying things more now than we could living to get to this point in our lives.

It is great to be able to choose what we want to do, if that sounds rutty, so be it. We’re having a good time and that is all that matters to us.

Enjoy!

Turning 44 this year.
Last 2 months i had bleeding and clots from pee-pee
Was told a kidney stone after a CT.
Well it continued, so had another CT (w/ contrast) and well......
no kidney stone, BUT a spot on bladder.
So yesterday had a csytoscopy done----IT HURTS!!!!
(like jabbing a ice pick up the pee-pee) They only numb it. so i was awake.
Finds out i have Bladder Cancer. No-so good news.
Waiting on when to operate/burn it and how bad it is. Something not looking forward to and doing every year.
Good thing i was persistent, hoping for the best.

Damn, wishing only the best of results going forward for you. Hope you caught it quick enough.

Chris, I've very sorry to hear that. But don't give up hope. Three years ago my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer a week before his 88th birthday. Pretty much his entire inner bladder wall had cancer growing on it. They apparently scraped his bladder wall to remove the cancer. He turned 91 a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully they caught yours early enough so that they can do a less invasive treatment also. Good luck!!!!!!

thanks guys.
They said it usually happens to people 60+ old and smoke.
Which i do not.
Just a fat jolly guy that spends a lot of time on this forum. LOL!

BCN went off 104.1 back in 2009, staggered along in some digital HD format maybe? And totally closed in Nov 2017.

WAAF, WCOZ, WBCN.... all gone. Along with WHCN in Hartford, WCCC Also in Hartford went to christian music in 2014.

Yes, the last song was Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath, it had also been the first song 50 years ago.

The HD radio thing is weird, apparently AAF is still on in some way (I have no idea about HD radio, and multiple "stations" on the same frequency. ) Oddly, Entercom had plans to run AAF on BCNs old frequency 104.1 HD2 Sort of pointless to me, as I don't think any of my radios get that stuff.

I can handle all of the bad music and movies. The daily aches and pains are tough though. Like Ben Franklin said, "I'm glad God made beer." I've read that he actually said something about wine, but whatever.

My daughter is 25, Son 22. Their generation is going to be just fine. Casey was 6 when she saw 9/11 unfold in hi-def at 9am. Her comment to me recently after 14 months of Covid was "my generation is tired of living through historical events". They know the previous and current administration are full of shit. They realize gender roles and equality can produce a beautiful respectful union. They also don't like corporate greed or lazy ass people gaming the system. They know being poor sucks but they also resent lazy folks on the government victim dole while they work so hard.

I've never seen a greater respect for working class and middle class ideals in a long time. I asked her how her people viewed the vaccine. She said "we don't want to be responsible for hurting people with our decisions, what's the big deal about getting another shot". So wise.

Her people also threw a generator concert this weekend outdoors under an LA overpass and 6000 people showed up complete with random fireworks. So did police helicopters and the 6 o'clock news. They all knew that if one single post went out on SM it could be traced back, not one electronic footprint from 6000 people, smart and impressive. I was so refreshed when she showed me the video that young folks still know how to have clean healthy fun.

I love their generation, they're smart, they know what's important, they know when you're full of shit cuz they've seen it early, and I'm excited to see what kind of world they make. I might be closer to death than birth but these kids make me feel young, my only job is to encourage them. Smiley face emoji.

FM radio has gone from an oasis on the other side of the AM parade of commercials, sandwiched around the sorriest tunes available, to a barren wasteland, not even as listenable as AM back then...........Shit.

As someone that falls into that generation, I think the biggest challenge we face is the barrier into the housing market. NY is all over the place, I'd kill to pay the prices my parents paid for a house 35 years ago, let alone the prices of a House 50 years ago. It can be a defeating feeling at times, right now I'm struggling with this.

I do remain optimistic though. I have to be, if not what else is there?

If it helps any, that's pretty much the exact thing I said in my early 20's.

One girlfriends parents bought their house in what became a fairly nice suburb for I think 18K or less, and got a crazy low rate because of his military service.