It's tough to be patient with them when dealing with eBay. Just an update to my post...
the buyer escalated his claim yesterday, but I had nothing to add. I had already added tracking, and i had sent 3 messages to the buyer explaining the situation with the USPS. He never once responded to any of my messages, escalated the claim and won.
eBay refunded the buyer despite the item still being in transit from me to him. It really, really sucks. Now I am out the item and the money. I'm guessing once item arrives, the buyer isn't going to let me know and ship it back.
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