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Old 03-20-2021, 04:56 PM
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Steve D Steve D is offline
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These are some comments taken from British military officer efficiency reports over the years:

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

- A room temperature IQ.

- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

- A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

- A prime candidate for natural deselection.

- Bright as Alaska in December.

- One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.

- Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

- Fell out of the family tree.

- Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

- Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

- He is so dense, light bends around him.

- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

- If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

- One neuron short of a synapse.

- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

- Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

- Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.


Steve
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