OT - Not Vintage, but WHO's to say It Aint Funny

Archive · #1 03-21-2005, 12:10 PM

Posted By: Joe P.

Name That Steroid
By FRANK CAMMUSO

yracuse � AT the Congressional hearings last week on steroid use in baseball, the star witnesses refused to name names. It's just as well - if they had, it could have been very confusing.

SENATOR Mr. Chairman, I'd like to thank the witness for agreeing to testify today. Though I don't follow baseball closely, I consider the issue of illicit substances to be of critical importance in American sports. I have one question for the witness: Sir, will you tell us names of players that use these substances?

PLAYER Yes, sir. I can tell you Who is on steroids.

SENATOR Good. Then who is on steroids?

PLAYER That's correct.

SENATOR I want the player's name.

PLAYER Who.

SENATOR The player on steroids.

PLAYER Who.

SENATOR I'm asking you who's on steroids?

PLAYER Who.

SENATOR The guy on steroids is who?

PLAYER Correct.

SENATOR I warn you, sir, not to make a mockery of this hearing. You are under oath. What is the name of the player on steroids?

PLAYER: No, sir. What is on androgen.

SENATOR I'm not asking who's on androgen!

PLAYER Who's on steroids.

SENATOR I don't know!

PLAYER He's on Oxandrin.

SENATOR Who?

PLAYER I Don't Know.

SENATOR Who is on Oxandrin?

PLAYER No, sir. Who is on steroids.

SENATOR That does it. I have had enough. You, sir, are stonewalling!

PLAYER No, sir. He's up next.

Frank Cammuso is the editorial cartoonist for The Syracuse Post-Standard.

Archive · #2 03-21-2005, 12:29 PM

Posted By: Julie

Archive · #3 03-21-2005, 12:32 PM

Posted By: Hal Lewis

Joe:

If I compliment your post and say that it is worthy of being on SNL...

will you get mad at me?

Archive · #4 03-21-2005, 12:56 PM

Posted By: Joe P.

That I once had an adjacent dressing room to John Belushi at NBC, .... would you get mad at me?

Come on Gator, let it all out.

Archive · #5 03-21-2005, 02:04 PM

Posted By: Hal Lewis

I never get mad at anyone - I'm nice to everyone.

That's why I got so mad at Ryan the other day.

So are you Joe Piscipo or Joe Pesci?

Although I doubt either of them would remember going to games at the Polo Grounds as you do!

Archive · #6 03-21-2005, 04:39 PM

Posted By: The Gator Speaks:

Neither one, .... they're good.

One day I was coming out of the dressing room, and I see a guy passing my door in what looked like a bathrobe.

He's going to his studio, and I'm going to mine.
Being that he's in front of me, I see something that looks like a sword sticking out from beneath the back of his robe.
As he was approaching the doors of his set, I called out to him and said, "That must be one tough set you're working in."
He swirls around, and we both got into a conversation.
Me, in broken English.
He, in broken Japanese.
It was my favorite Samurai.
John Belushi, and he stayed in character all the way.
Besides having perfect timing, the man was a brilliant actor and comedian.
Whatta loss.
Joe P.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
What you see aint what you get	Archive	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	2	11-19-2006 09:35 AM
Now this is funny	Archive	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	13	11-07-2006 07:49 PM
A little OT but funny.	Archive	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	14	05-28-2006 09:43 PM
Funny	Archive	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	8	08-19-2004 06:45 PM
Aint nothin' like the real thing...	Archive	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	3	01-24-2002 02:00 PM