Hobby etiquette. Where has it gone?

[Johnny630]

Again it seems like Money is all that matters here...sadly not the friendship...at least tell you it's being auctioned along with when and where said auction is taking place.

[Mark17]

Originally Posted by Johnny630

Again it seems like Money is all that matters here...sadly not the friendship...at least tell you it's being auctioned along with when and where said auction is taking place.

Which is the same thing as saying Money is what matters.

Putting it up for auction is telling the OP that the seller wants to maximize his number. "I'm not interested in selling to you directly because I'm betting someone else will pay more."

Maybe the seller didn't feel comfortable telling the OP, essentially, "Sure, I'll sell it to you, as long as you pay more than everyone else who is interested in it."

I think most comments here agree the seller had a perfect right to put the card up for auction, and the difference of opinion is how he should've handled it with the OP - should he have told him about the auction. All I'm saying is that, yes, in a perfect world where business dealings are handled in a purely rational and unemotional way, the seller should've told the OP about the auction.

But I can easily see how the seller may have been concerned about the OP's reaction. Sometimes the people who are dismayed that "money is all that matters" are prospective buyers who think people should sell to friends at below market because money shouldn't be all that matters.

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by Mark17

Which is the same thing as saying Money is what matters.

Putting it up for auction is telling the OP that the seller wants to maximize his number. "I'm not interested in selling to you directly because I'm betting someone else will pay more."

Maybe the seller didn't feel comfortable telling the OP, essentially, "Sure, I'll sell it to you, as long as you pay more than everyone else who is interested in it."

I think most comments here agree the seller had a perfect right to put the card up for auction, and the difference of opinion is how he should've handled it with the OP - should he have told him about the auction. All I'm saying is that, yes, in a perfect world where business dealings are handled in a purely rational and unemotional way, the seller should've told the OP about the auction.

But I can easily see how the seller may have been concerned about the OP's reaction. Sometimes the people who are dismayed that "money is all that matters" are prospective buyers who think people should sell to friends at below market because money shouldn't be all that matters.

Surprised nobody asked, but I was willing to pay 25 percent more than what the card was auctioned for.

[CardPadre]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Surprised nobody asked, but I was willing to pay 25 percent more than what the card was auctioned for.

That's a cool secret to keep and never convey to the owner of the card.

You could always have made an offer just to let him know what ballbark you were in, even if the card wasn't actively for sale. Que será, será.

[Exhibitman]

If your max was more than the hammer price, did you bid and win it?

As for the mentality, it never changes. Almost 40 years ago, Randy Newman hit the golden nail on the head:

https://youtu.be/cS06eprlj2I?si=mDv8RauXKJrq9EIa

Of all of the people that I used to know
Most never adjusted to the great big world
I see them lurking in book stores
Working for the Public Radio
Carrying their babies around in a sack on their back
Moving careful and slow

It's money that matters
Hear what I say
It's money that matters
In the USA

All of these people are much brighter than I
In any fair system they would flourish and thrive
But they barely survive
They eke out a living and they barely survive
When I was a young boy, maybe thirteen
I took a hard look around me and asked what does it mean?
So I talked to my father, and he didn't know
And I talked to my friend and he didn't know
And I talked to my brother and he didn't know
And I talked to everybody that I knew

It's money that matters
Now you know that it's true
It's money that matters
Whatever you do

Then I talked to a man lived up on the county line
I was washing his car with a friend of mine
He was a little fat guy in a red jumpsuit
I said "You look kind of funny"
He said "I know that I do"
"But I got a great big house on the hill here
And a great big blonde wife inside it
And a great big pool in my backyard and another great big pool beside it
Sonny it's money that matters, hear what I say

It's money that matters in the USA
It's money that matters
Now you know that it's true
It's money that matters whatever you do

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

If your max was more than the hammer price, did you bid and win it?

As for the mentality, it never changes. Almost 40 years ago, Randy Newman hit the golden nail on the head:

https://youtu.be/cS06eprlj2I?si=mDv8RauXKJrq9EIa

Of all of the people that I used to know
Most never adjusted to the great big world
I see them lurking in book stores
Working for the Public Radio
Carrying their babies around in a sack on their back
Moving careful and slow

It's money that matters
Hear what I say
It's money that matters
In the USA

All of these people are much brighter than I
In any fair system they would flourish and thrive
But they barely survive
They eke out a living and they barely survive
When I was a young boy, maybe thirteen
I took a hard look around me and asked what does it mean?
So I talked to my father, and he didn't know
And I talked to my friend and he didn't know
And I talked to my brother and he didn't know
And I talked to everybody that I knew

It's money that matters
Now you know that it's true
It's money that matters
Whatever you do

Then I talked to a man lived up on the county line
I was washing his car with a friend of mine
He was a little fat guy in a red jumpsuit
I said "You look kind of funny"
He said "I know that I do"
"But I got a great big house on the hill here
And a great big blonde wife inside it
And a great big pool in my backyard and another great big pool beside it
Sonny it's money that matters, hear what I say

It's money that matters in the USA
It's money that matters
Now you know that it's true
It's money that matters whatever you do

Again, I didn’t know he sent it to auction and only found out about it after the auction had ended.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Surprised nobody asked, but I was willing to pay 25 percent more than what the card was auctioned for.

Drew- Do you know how many people ask me about rare cards I have, and if I ever go to sell them, let them know? A whole lot.
When I am ready to sell, I will sell however I want to. No one is entitled to a first shot, even my friends. If I remember, I might reach out, but honestly I make little effort. I see friends with cards I would love to have and say the same thing to them. But I never, ever expect them to ask me first. I just throw it out there. And, if I ask, and I see them selling it the next day on the BST, or elsewhere, they are still my friend. It makes no difference to me.
,.

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by Leon

Drew- Do you know how many people ask me about rare cards I have, and if I ever go to sell them, let them know? A whole lot.
When I am ready to sell, I will sell however I want to. No one is entitled to a first shot, even my friends. If I remember, I might reach out, but honestly I make little effort. I see friends with cards I would love to have and say the same thing to them. But I never, ever expect them to ask me first. I just throw it out there. And, if I ask, and I see them selling it the next day on the BST, or elsewhere, they are still my friend. It makes no difference to me.
,.

While I respect what you are saying, I had a long term friendship where I thought he would give me an opportunity to buy the card. I guess I was wrong.

[raulus]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Surprised nobody asked, but I was willing to pay 25 percent more than what the card was auctioned for.

When you lay this on him, make sure to mention that he also would’ve saved real money on all of those selling costs that he paid to the AH, either as seller fees or as BP that the house retained.

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by raulus

When you lay this on him, make sure to mention that he also would’ve saved real money on all of those selling costs that he paid to the AH, either as seller fees or as BP that the house retained.

I am actually going to keep my mouth shut about this one