A public apology

[ErikV]

To the Net54 community,

Joe Tinker/Johnny Evers. Ty Cobb/Sam Crawford. Babe Ruth/Lou Gehrig. Juan Marichal/John Roseboro.
Throughout various eras in baseball history, there have been several notable long-held grudges.
Similar to the way these greats have held ill will, I too have allowed a lingering grievance to fester far too long.
I am writing to mend fences.

In 2017, a situation between myself and two N54 members arose almost simultaneously and I completely mishandled both incidents.
As a result, I have withheld posting on this board all this time. I take full responsibility for my behavior.
I regret the way I handled and conducted myself. For that, I owe both of these members a public and private amends,
and the N54 community an apology. In the future, I will do better.

In addition to making this public apology to them and to the board, I have also reached out offline and offered amends to both of them.
I seek neither sympathy nor accolades, nor am I doing this to appear virtuous; I'm simply trying to do the right thing.
While the jury is still out, I hope that there will still be room at the Net54 table for me to rejoin this community once again.

Erik V.

[milkit1]

Good on ya Eric. I dont know the situation but I know the world lacks humility and I am always proud to see any individual speak out in this manner as I am sure it is not an easy thing to do. Hopefully the others involved have given you as much and we can all move upwards and onwards

[doug.goodman]

Sorry, I don't see how your post qualifies as a public apology.

[brianp-beme]

Works for me...details are not necessary. Acknowledging mistakes and moving forward in a positive way will always be the best way to handle something less than ideal from the past.

Brian (I wish I made mistakes so I could follow my own advice)

[Casey2296]

Originally Posted by milkit1

Good on ya Eric. I dont know the situation but I know the world lacks humility and I am always proud to see any individual speak out in this manner as I am sure it is not an easy thing to do. Hopefully the others involved have given you as much and we can all move upwards and onwards

+1 well said

[Peter_Spaeth]

I don't mean to offend but I'm sort of with Doug here. Presumably the purpose of a "public apology" is to seek some sort of forgiveness but I don't know how anyone other than the two people involved can make that judgment with no context at all. If this was well publicized and I'm forgetting, different matter.

[Casey2296]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

I don't mean to offend but I'm sort of with Doug here. Presumably the purpose of a "public apology" is to seek some sort of forgiveness but I don't know how anyone other than the two people involved can make that judgment with no context at all. If this was well publicized and I'm forgetting, different matter.

It's not easy for a fella to post on a public forum and admit he was a heel, he doesn't owe me an apology and he reached out to the two guys he does owe an apology too. I'm always impressed when I see someone gain a little insight, humility, and personal growth.

Now I know we're all waiting for Kevin Mize to return with hat in hand but I think that's a bridge too far...

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by Casey2296

It's not easy for a fella to post on a public forum and admit he was a heel, he doesn't owe me an apology and he reached out to the two guys he does owe an apology too. I'm always impressed when I see someone gain a little insight, humility, and personal growth.

Now I know we're all waiting for Kevin Mize to return with hat in hand but I think that's a bridge too far...

If he did I am sure his apology would grade 9 oc.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

If he did I am sure his apology would grade 9 oc.

Mize was banned, Erik (hi Erik) wasn't.
.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by Leon

Mize was banned, Eric wasn't.
.

A long and distinguished list, that.

[FrankWakefield]

I see Doug's and Peter's point. It's not a public apology when you say I'm sorry, but not what for. Calling it a public apology doesn't make it one.

I'm not saying a public apology is needed, although I suspect that it would help. And I don't know, or don't recall the situation, but Doug's point seems valid.

Sounds like Erik has started out on a good beginning to the path, but has a bit further to go?

[Peter_Spaeth]

I think Frank states it perfectly.

[Stonepony]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

If he did I am sure his apology would grade 9 oc.

Now that’s funny!

[Rhotchkiss]

Only on net54 does a guy get bashed for making an apology. Tough fucking crowd.

Good for you Erik. Welcome back (I have no idea what you are apologizing for, but apparently you now owe another apology for calling whatever you posted a “public apology”).

The Mize comments, on the other hand, are classic

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

Only on net54 does a guy get bashed for making an apology. Tough fucking crowd.

Good for you Erik. Welcome back (I have no idea what you are apologizing for, but apparently you now owe another apology for calling whatever you posted a “public apology”).

The Mize comments, on the other hand, are classic

Neither Doug, Frank nor I are bashing Erik at all.

[jingram058]

I have no idea what any of this is all about, and I suspect it was before my time. Thus, none of my business. That said, welcome back, sir.

[Carter08]

Welcome back.

[Bigdaddy]

Originally Posted by Casey2296

It's not easy for a fella to post on a public forum and admit he was a heel, he doesn't owe me an apology and he reached out to the two guys he does owe an apology too. I'm always impressed when I see someone gain a little insight, humility, and personal growth.

Now I know we're all waiting for Kevin Mize to return with hat in hand but I think that's a bridge too far...

Agree with Phil's take on this one. I am fine with a public acknowledgement of a private apology.

[Dead-Ball-Hitter]

I’d grade this apology an “Auth” as I sense sincerity and a genuine regret, coupled with an honest desire to move forward. Props to the OP and welcome back!

To qualify the grade given, the apology may have some surface issues related to context and degree of deviation, yet it also reveals well-centered and thoughtful meditation on the part of the one seeking forgiveness. The regret is obviously acute and sharply defined. The ambiguous edges of the remorse, however, do create a modest lack of clarity.

I recommend a 30 minute soak to clean up the surface problem and we’ll have a solid NM-MT apology.

[3-2-count]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

Only on net54 does a guy get bashed criticized for making an apology. Tough fucking crowd.

Good for you Erik. Welcome back (I have no idea what you are apologizing for, but apparently you now owe another apology for calling whatever you posted a “public apology”).

The Mize comments, on the other hand, are classic

Fixed it for you Ryan! Erik, welcome back.

[pokerplyr80]

Originally Posted by Bigdaddy

Agree with Phil's take on this one. I am fine with a public acknowledgement of a private apology.

I agree with this. While I am curious now I'm certainly not owed any explanation. And as Eric was never banned even this public acknowledgement of a private apology was not necessary.

[michael3322]

Originally Posted by pokerplyr80

I agree with this. While I am curious now I'm certainly not owed any explanation. And as Eric was never banned even this public acknowledgement of a private apology was not necessary.

I agree. Don't know any of the details aside from what's in the thread. But do know that in this day and age, forgiveness and humility are increasingly in short supply, so glad to see so many extending forgiveness for whatever happened here. Hopefully those directly affected by whatever initially happened feel whatever private amends made proved sufficient.

[doug.goodman]

Look, I appreciate that whoever Erik owes his apology to knows exactly what he is talking about, and probably appreciates the thought, but I still don't see how his apology now qualifies as being 'public'.

But, if it does by the definition of the majority of this board, then I also would like to apologize 'in public' to nobody in particular about nothing specific.

Boy, I feel a lot better about that, thank you.

Now I can can move on with my life fully cleansed of my indiscretion.

Doug 'sorry, I still don't get it' Goodman

[ALBB]

I think its a solid thing he has done

From a " nosey " standpoint. .Id like to hear the whole story behind it

But, apologize ..and move on

[egri]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

If he did I am sure his apology would grade 9 oc.

But it would be priced as a straight 9.

[Rich Klein]

From Erik's list -- Ruth and Gehrig made up very publicly on July 4, 1939 and Juan Marichal did one of the eulogies at John Roseboro's funeral.

Things can get healed and I for one appreciate healing a lot.

Rich

P.S. We did have ONE person who forgot to hit send for Secret Santa and I have room to get him a match if anyone wants to join in

[brianp-beme]

Originally Posted by Rich Klein

From Erik's list -- Ruth and Gehrig made up very publicly on July 4, 1939 and Juan Marichal did one of the eulogies at John Roseboro's funeral.

Things can get healed and I for one appreciate healing a lot.

Rich

P.S. We did have ONE person who forgot to hit send for Secret Santa and I have room to get him a match if anyone wants to join in

This Secret Santa who failed to 'hit send' better issue a public apology with all the juicy details or else suffer the wrath of Net54!

Brian

[raulus]

I would posit that much depends on whose forgiveness the OP is seeking.

Is the OP seeking to confess his sins against the hobby and receive absolution from the high priests of net54? If so, then I suppose those high priests might insist that more context will be required before a final decision can be rendered.

On the other hand, if the OP has privately discussed the situation with the counterparties specifically involved in the matters identified, and those counterparties have requested a public posting demonstrating the humility and contrition of the OP, then it strikes me that the decision regarding whether the post is sufficient is entirely up to those counterparties.

Certainly if the OP is seeking acceptance from the broader community, and a declaration that the OP has been cleansed from his former iniquity, then we may all feel the need to know more. And if not, then I guess at least now we know to be more guarded in our dealings with the OP.

[LEHR]

I've always found it amusing that grown men can get so worked up over baseball cards.

[Mark17]

Originally Posted by egri

But it would be priced as a straight 9.

And bumped 1,000 times over a 10 year period.

[cammb]

Originally Posted by doug.goodman

Look, I appreciate that whoever Erik owes his apology to knows exactly what he is talking about, and probably appreciates the thought, but I still don't see how his apology now qualifies as being 'public'.

But, if it does by the definition of the majority of this board, then I also would like to apologize 'in public' to nobody in particular about nothing specific.

Boy, I feel a lot better about that, thank you.

Now I can can move on with my life fully cleansed of my indiscretion.

Doug 'sorry, I still don't get it' Goodman

Uncalled for sarcasm

[D. Bergin]

It's a mystery, wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma, surrounded by a conundrum, and coated in a sweet, sweet chocolate truffle.

It's the Russian Nesting Doll of apologies.

Interest = piqued.

Stakes = low

Popcorn = Mandatory!

[philliesfan]

I appreciate the fact that he is taking responsibility for his actions and making this apology.
The definition of apology as I looked on the internet.....a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.
It seems the OP is doing just that. Stating on the board that he takes full responsibility of how he handled both situations and will do better in the future.
Some feel that it is not an apology because he is not stating what happened. Maybe he is not stating what happened because he is respecting the two people he offended by not going into specifics. Maybe they prefer not to be mentioned by name or situation. I am sure the OP would not care if either of them explained what happened.
Just my take on it.
Bob

[perezfan]

Originally Posted by D. Bergin

It's a mystery, wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma, surrounded by a conundrum, and coated in a sweet, sweet chocolate truffle.

It's the Russian Nesting Doll of apologies.

Interest = piqued.

Stakes = low

Popcorn = Mandatory!

Excellent!

[Fred]

Originally Posted by LEHR

I've always found it amusing that grown men can get so worked up over baseball cards.

Paul, what the heck is wrong with you? Are you telling me that you don't feel the passion when someone calls your card a "7" when you know for sure it's a "9" or "10"? OMG -

Could you imagine what this place would be like if it were nothing but Kumbaya? This place would be boring.

Some of those train wreck threads can be "entertaining". I'll see you in the parking lot at the National...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G52aaTFibHo

[Seven]

Originally Posted by Fred

Paul, what the heck is wrong with you? Are you telling me that you don't feel the passion when someone calls your card a "7" when you know for sure it's a "9" or "10"? OMG -

Could you imagine what this place would be like if it were nothing but Kumbaya? This place would be boring.

Some of those train wreck threads can be "entertaining". I'll see you in the parking lot at the National...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G52aaTFibHo

In my limited time here, I've seen some legendary train wrecks. The Honus Wagner photoshop might take the cake however.

[steve B]

Originally Posted by doug.goodman

Look, I appreciate that whoever Erik owes his apology to knows exactly what he is talking about, and probably appreciates the thought, but I still don't see how his apology now qualifies as being 'public'.

But, if it does by the definition of the majority of this board, then I also would like to apologize 'in public' to nobody in particular about nothing specific.

Boy, I feel a lot better about that, thank you.

Now I can can move on with my life fully cleansed of my indiscretion.

Doug 'sorry, I still don't get it' Goodman

Come on Doug. We all "know" it was you that gave the S.O.D. the sketchy patch cord that led to this.... You can admit it now.

warning, strong language and strange humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_frXYiZ-cAo

[LEHR]

Originally Posted by Fred

Paul, what the heck is wrong with you? Are you telling me that you don't feel the passion when someone calls your card a "7" when you know for sure it's a "9" or "10"? OMG -

Could you imagine what this place would be like if it were nothing but Kumbaya? This place would be boring.

Some of those train wreck threads can be "entertaining". I'll see you in the parking lot at the National...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G52aaTFibHo

Oh, the train wrecks are definitely entertaining. I just don't want to be in the middle of them.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by LEHR

Oh, the train wrecks are definitely entertaining. I just don't want to be in the middle of them.

When I am stuck in traffic, I am always glad I am not the reason for it.
.

[doug.goodman]

Originally Posted by cammb

Uncalled for sarcasm

Hahaha, well, once you get to know me you will find out that my actual middle name is 'sarcasm', and as my wife likes to say 'Sarcasm, it's how I hug'

[Jobu]

I have known Erik for years (through Net54), exchanging lots of emails about cards and research, families, and life. I have always thought he is great all around and admit I am a bit shocked something might have transpired for which he would feel this type of responsibility. I don't need any details about what it was - we all make mistakes, including mishandling situations every now and then, and whatever it was he is going above and beyond by owning it both privately and publicly. I say well done Erik.

And because every thread needs a card (and some lotion and towels)...

[gonefishin]

Erik, 5 years is a long time and I'm glad you've taken whatever action you needed to for closure - at least on your part. Whoever the other parties are, it's up to them now. Sometimes we either forgive or die with it.

Short story to make you feel better - maybe.

About 15 years ago or so I was returning from a business trip to Puerto Rico. I was changing flights in Dallas. I purchased a coffee from a Starbucks kiosk in the airport. They got my order wrong. I requested a replacement. The barista told me they got the order correct. The "He said - she said" went on for a few minutes and they refused to replace my coffee. I said ok, but I will never purchase another coffee from Starbucks and started my one-man boycott of Starbucks. That was a long time ago and I have never bought another coffee from Starbucks. Starbucks is still doing fantastic business and I have missed out on a lot of good coffees. Sometimes I wonder if it was just the individual that I dealt with or was it the culture of Starbucks.

Hopefully, you will pick up on the analogy of my personal experience and yours.

Sorry you're getting some negative comments regarding your apology and welcome back!

P.S. I'm still boycotting Starbucks! However, if someone else buys I'm all in.

[SyrNy1960]

Originally Posted by gonefishin

Erik, 5 years is a long time and I'm glad you've taken whatever action you needed to for closure - at least on your part. Whoever the other parties are, it's up to them now. Sometimes we either forgive or die with it.

Short story to make you feel better - maybe.

About 15 years ago or so I was returning from a business trip to Puerto Rico. I was changing flights in Dallas. I purchased a coffee from a Starbucks kiosk in the airport. They got my order wrong. I requested a replacement. The barista told me they got the order correct. The "He said - she said" went on for a few minutes and they refused to replace my coffee. I said ok, but I will never purchase another coffee from Starbucks and started my one-man boycott of Starbucks. That was a long time ago and I have never bought another coffee from Starbucks. Starbucks is still doing fantastic business and I have missed out on a lot of good coffees. Sometimes I wonder if it was just the individual that I dealt with or was it the culture of Starbucks.

Hopefully, you will pick up on the analogy of my personal experience and yours.

Sorry you're getting some negative comments regarding your apology and welcome back!

P.S. I'm still boycotting Starbucks! However, if someone else buys I'm all in.

I don’t think the comments are negative. I think the public apology part is difficult to understand when people don’t know the specifics of what he’s apologizing for. I think everyone gets his intent and respect it.

[bmattioli]

Originally Posted by Jobu

I have known Erik for years (through Net54), exchanging lots of emails about cards and research, families, and life. I have always thought he is great all around and admit I am a bit shocked something might have transpired for which he would feel this type of responsibility. I don't need any details about what it was - we all make mistakes, including mishandling situations every now and then, and whatever it was he is going above and beyond by owning it both privately and publicly. I say well done Erik.

And because every thread needs a card (and some lotion and towels)...

OMG this guy is Eric? I love this dude as much as Adrian..

[Fred]

Originally Posted by steve B

Come on Doug. We all "know" it was you that gave the S.O.D. the sketchy patch cord that led to this.... You can admit it now.

warning, strong language and strange humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_frXYiZ-cAo

All I can say about Goodman is that he's the butthead that posted something in a thread that made me spew coffee all over my keyboard one morning... I couldn't stop laughing when I saw his post, but then again, I had to clean my keyboard... butthead...no warning what so ever... just coffee all over the keyboard...

[drazz5]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

Only on net54 does a guy get bashed for making an apology. Tough fucking crowd.

Good for you Erik. Welcome back (I have no idea what you are apologizing for, but apparently you now owe another apology for calling whatever you posted a “public apology”).

The Mize comments, on the other hand, are classic

Ha! My thoughts exactly. I don't think anyone here is in a position to opine on the adequacy of an apology that does not involve any of us.

Erik, no one forced you to go out of your way to post this, so good for you. Hope whoever you feel that you wronged can appreciate the effort as well.

Cheers!

[JollyElm]

wagnerguysantaslap.jpg
"Happy holidays, fellahs!!"

[ErikV]

Originally Posted by LEHR

I've always found it amusing that grown men can get so worked up over baseball cards.

I wasn't going to add any more to the original post but it looks like I need to.

For those who need clarification,

This post summarizes it. I didn't like the way two transactions ended because
I didn't get my way! To the extent that it bled over into my not participating
for five years with the N54 community - similar to the Starbucks analogy/post -
I felt owning up to that portion was also the responsible thing to do.

To those who have been understanding, thanks.

Erik

[timn1]

It's not really the OP's place to air all the details of the dispute - if the three people involved all agree that they want to air it all, then fine - but unless or until that happens, this seems like a pretty full acknowledgment and apology, and the rest of us should probably just accept it and move on, ya know?

Tim

Originally Posted by philliesfan

I appreciate the fact that he is taking responsibility for his actions and making this apology.
The definition of apology as I looked on the internet.....a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.
It seems the OP is doing just that. Stating on the board that he takes full responsibility of how he handled both situations and will do better in the future.
Some feel that it is not an apology because he is not stating what happened. Maybe he is not stating what happened because he is respecting the two people he offended by not going into specifics. Maybe they prefer not to be mentioned by name or situation. I am sure the OP would not care if either of them explained what happened.
Just my take on it.
Bob

[dfletch00]

Originally Posted by LEHR

I've always found it amusing that grown men can get so worked up over baseball cards.

now that is funny.. Thanks Paul - been a shitshow day .. I needed to laugh finally... that was good ... carry on... Darrell...