what's your favorite sleazy dealer excuse?

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Posted By: warshawlaw 

I just got a card in an auction described as "excellent to near mint." The card has multiple creases (not visible from the auction scan) and an ink stamp on the back (no back scan presented). The seller has already agreed to refund my money and all shipping so I am not going to pillory him here, other than to present his asinine excuse, because it is just like ones I get all the time from other dealers who I catch selling dreck listed as high grade:

"Although, I have been a memorabilia dealer
for over twenty-five years I am not and have not been a card dealer, and obviously am not capable of grading cards to the standard of card collectors."
--I get a variation of this lame-ass excuse probably 50% of the time I return a grossly overgraded card. It is so deceitful. If you are not a dealer and don't know how to grade cards, don't offer them for auction. Plus, I've seen this guy's listings for like five years and he always has cards for sale on his web site and in his auctions.

Other excuses I love (all are paraphrases):

"I don't know much about this issue"
--then crack a book, idiot, or find someone who does, before you misrepresent items to the public.

"I did not look at the card carefully"
--This is the second most-used excuse. All I can say is that with this sort of attention to detail, I sure hope this dealer's kid never needs a prescription medicine administered.

"I picked it up as part of a big lot and did not open the holder before I listed it"
--Actually got this one when I returned an "N162" that was a photocopy of an N162 glued to cardboard; funny how this never happens with Cobb or Ruth cards. . .

And my favorite of all, which paraphrases what a certain auctioneer who shall remain nameless pissily told me:

"I guess we have different grading standards."
--Right, I have standards.

What are some of the good ones you've gotten?

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Posted By: petecld

This was some years ago:

I bought a card called Ex/Mt. Front was Ex/Mt. But, 1/2 of the back was missing after being removed from an album. I called him to "discuss the matter" and he explained to me:

"Why does it matter? Don't you know the backs were never meant to be looked at so it doesn't factor into the overall condition of the card."

Of course, that's why they put all that silly advertising there - so no one would see it.

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Posted By: Dan Mathewson

I got a funny one once.

I had bought a 1940 Play Ball Matty from a guy. It looked great in the scan. He said it used to be in a PSA-7 holder, but felt it deserved an 8, so he cracked it out and sold it as was.

Well...I bought that story. I got the card and sent it in to PSA (which is the company he suggested) for grading/slabbing. Of course (as I should have predicted) it came back ungradeable as "trimmed".

I asked for a refund. He went into a tirade about PSA being lousy and unpredictable and inconsistent, etc. Initially, he refused. Then, he actually started to suggest that something must have happened to the card between the time I got it and I sent it to PSA. Well, that pissed me off. I would never alter a card, no matter what it's condition. I buy to collect, not to resell. So, I filed a police report for internet fraud (since he did initially guarantee the card, in writing, and guaranteed it would get at least a PSA 8 grade upon submission)...and, suddenly, we were able to come to a 100% refund agreement.

<laugh> The things people will do...

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Posted By: David

As I'm sure many have found, some honest non-collecting novices who find old cards wherever, simply have no idea about grading or that there is even a grading system. To them, 'excellent' or 'very good' are just casual everyday terms like 'cool' or 'pretty neat.' "The Drew Carey Show is on in five minutes? Most excellent. Despite what anyone says, honey, I think Drew Carey is a very good actor."

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Posted By: Julie Vognar

1) "It must have happened in the mail" (the crease up the center of my ex-mint card).
2) I don't believe we discussed centering," (after receiving a T202 from a dealer, with whom I discussed the card for 15 minutes before he sent it--it didn't have a bottom border).

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Posted By: Lee Behrens

As you might guess, my favorite excuse is from Dave Festberg:

I recently hired a new grader, Do you think I should fire him?

What do you think you dumb A**

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Posted By: John Wojak

Ahhh, the "Festberg scale". 'Nuff said.