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Go Back   Net54baseball.com Forums > Net54baseball Postwar Sportscard Forums > WaterCooler Talk- Off Topics

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  #1  
Old 03-18-2021, 07:45 PM
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Cooper1927 Cooper1927 is offline
David H.
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Default Bad Recommendations

So my friend and I like thinking up lines for recommendations for people that are...less than stellar.

I’ll start with:

“While my life would certainly have been better not having known them, they have helped me grow as a person in the area of patience and perseverance.”


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  #2  
Old 03-18-2021, 07:55 PM
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"Sure, he'll stab you in the back, but at least you'll get a free utensil out of the deal."
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“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
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Last edited by JollyElm; 03-18-2021 at 08:58 PM.
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  #3  
Old 03-18-2021, 07:56 PM
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"If you could buy Joe for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth, you would be a rich man indeed."

Last edited by Snapolit1; 03-18-2021 at 07:56 PM.
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  #4  
Old 03-18-2021, 08:06 PM
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Cooper1927 Cooper1927 is offline
David H.
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During the most difficult times of crises, they are definitely a person you can count on to be more than underwhelming.


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Collecting:

Lou Gehrig Items
Christy Mathewson Cards
Addie Joss Cards
E103 (28/30 93%)
T206 NY Highlanders (100%)
1956 Topps Yankees (100%)
Pre-War NY Highlanders/Yankees (E, M, T)
T210 Series 3 Orange Borders (4/20 20%)
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  #5  
Old 03-20-2021, 07:59 AM
carlsonjok carlsonjok is offline
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His team would follow him anywhere....

...but only out of morbid curiousity.
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  #6  
Old 03-20-2021, 08:15 AM
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She set him on the path of the straight and narrow..... but he justified his way to hell.

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  #7  
Old 03-20-2021, 04:56 PM
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Steve D Steve D is offline
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These are some comments taken from British military officer efficiency reports over the years:

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

- A room temperature IQ.

- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

- A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

- A prime candidate for natural deselection.

- Bright as Alaska in December.

- One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.

- Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

- Fell out of the family tree.

- Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

- Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

- He is so dense, light bends around him.

- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

- If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

- One neuron short of a synapse.

- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

- Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

- Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.


Steve
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  #8  
Old 03-20-2021, 11:46 PM
NiceDocter NiceDocter is offline
Rocky Rockwell
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Default faint praise

"He represents the cream of the crap"

"It has been a pressure to have worked with her"
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  #9  
Old 03-21-2021, 07:55 AM
Econteachert205 Econteachert205 is offline
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No collection is incomplete without it.
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  #10  
Old 03-21-2021, 11:50 AM
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A pimple on the asshole of progress.
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  #11  
Old 03-26-2021, 06:08 PM
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David H.
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Default

Her work ethic is beyond the expectations of a previously living person.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Collecting:

Lou Gehrig Items
Christy Mathewson Cards
Addie Joss Cards
E103 (28/30 93%)
T206 NY Highlanders (100%)
1956 Topps Yankees (100%)
Pre-War NY Highlanders/Yankees (E, M, T)
T210 Series 3 Orange Borders (4/20 20%)
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  #12  
Old 03-30-2021, 08:35 AM
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Al@n Kle!nberger
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With apologies to Oscar Wilde:

"Some people light up a room by entering it, others by taking their leave."
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  #13  
Old 03-30-2021, 11:44 PM
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While playing amateur ball, we had a pitcher for whom it was said:

His arm belongs in the Hall of Fame, and his brain belongs in a jar.
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  #14  
Old 03-31-2021, 03:22 AM
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“... I remind you that Bozo was a widely beloved clown ...”
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