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Old 12-16-2020, 10:25 AM
Exhibitman's Avatar
Exhibitman Exhibitman is online now
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Default Happy Hanukkah Boxing Fans

The Hanukkah Boxing Song (with apologies to Adam Sandler)

There's a lot of gentile boxers out there and not too many Jewish ones, so I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any songs about Jewish boxers. Here we go!

Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah
So much funukkah, to celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is The Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents we have eight crazy nights.
When you feel like the only kid in the ring without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of boxers who are Jewish just like you and me.

The incomparable Benny Leonard lights the Menorah
Then he and archrival Lew Tendler take turns reading Torah.

All three Attel brothers are Jews of boxing fame
Abe is also known for fixing a World Series game (1919; yeah he did it).

Joe Choynski knocked Jack Johnson right off his feet
Then had a plate of latkes his mother made him eat.

Hall of Famer Max Baer is half Jewish, his brother Buddy’s half too
Put them together, what a hard-punching heavyweight Jew!

You don't need "Deck the Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
Cause you can spin a dreidel with Hall of Famers Kid Kaplan and Leo Houck! (both Jewish)

Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Hanukkah
Hall of Famer Charley Goldman-ica celebrates Hanukkah

Abe Simon and Bob Pastor fought Joe Louis for a title
Then went with Art Lasky to a Hanukkah recital

Slapsy Maxie Rosenbloom was known for being gabby
Jack Dempsey's a quarter Jewish - not too shabby!

Sugar Ray Robinson said Georgie Abrahams fought him best
Two-division champ Barney Ross was tougher than the rest.*

So many Jews are in the boxing biz
Don King isn't Jewish (thank God), but his rival Bob Arum is.

Put on your cup-ikah
It's time to celebrate Hanukkah
From New York to Santa Monica
Boxers celebrate Hanukkah
So drink your Slivovitz-ikah and
Smoke your marijuani-kah
And if you really, really wanna-kah,
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!

*Decorated for battlefield heroism in WWII.
At ten all I thought about was card collecting. At twenty all I thought about was women. At thirty all I thought about was success. At forty all I thought about was money. Now all I think about is retirement...because all I want to think about is card collecting!

Last edited by Exhibitman; 12-16-2020 at 01:57 PM.
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Old 12-16-2020, 10:41 AM
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Bored5000 Bored5000 is offline
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Wow, absolutely awesome.
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Old 12-16-2020, 10:43 AM
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riggs336 riggs336 is offline
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Location: Austin
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Absolutely wonderful!
Baseball cards will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no baseball cards.--The Fabulous Furry Freak Bros. (paraphrased)
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Old 12-17-2020, 07:49 AM
timzcardz timzcardz is offline
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That has a familiar ring to it.

Happy Hanukkah!
Collector of all things Ripken, Yankees, 1958, and whatever strikes my fancy at the moment.

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