What I have learned in my time here, so far

[Bocabirdman]

My time here on these boards is still measured in weeks, not even months yet. Members here have welcomed me. I have scored some cool cards over on BST. I am working hard to improve my Monster Number. In addition to these things, I have learned a lot about this hobby that I have loved now for 45 years. There have been interesting threads regarding all facets of collecting. Some of the threads run or ran simultaneously. Since I am a Ten Pin Bowling typist (two fingers and a thumb on one hand), sometimes it is tough for me to type a post while it is still relevant. I will use this thread/post to recap what information I have absorbed.

1. It seems that back in the 1850’s a young, silver-tongued snake oil salesman met up with a lady card mechanic while both were fleeing a town one step ahead of the law. They fell in love and spawned a brood of morally derelict kids who went on to be highwayman, con artists and politicians. Fast forward four generations and we find that the family, now spread all across the country, has cornered the world of sport memorabilia auction houses. Being genetically disposed to working on the shadowy side of the street, they think nothing of shenanigans, getting into bed with those who practice such things or simply turning a blind eye for the right price.

2. The graded card segment of our hobby is showing the strains of growth. It seems that there are not enough qualified graders to handle the steady piles of cards that collectors want to have slabbed. How else to we account for so many cards being re-submitted and receiving a higher grade? These are cards, not fine wine. They do not get better with age. Also, it seems that if you don’t like the grade you received, you simply need to resubmit the card over and over. If you still don’t like the grade, take it to a card show and get it graded there. (See Young, Dmitri).

3. The slab, long thought to be the end-all in card security and guarantee of the entombed card’s authenticity has come under attack. We now have counterfeit flips and bootleg slabs to contend with. Some idle-handed deviant has even figured out how to open a “real” slab so as to slip a lower grade card or even a reprint, in place of the actual graded card. Their handiwork is detectable in person but might be missed on an auction scan.

4. Lastly, and this point seems to be agreed on universally across the rank and file, any auction listing that mentions “cards that were found in Grandpa’s attic” are assuredly fake. A closer examination most likely finds the seller buying reprints using the same account.

When you add all of these points together, there is only one logical conclusion.
The BLACK SWAMP FIND MUST BE BOGUS.

Please accept this post as it was written…..with tongue firmly planted in cheek.