A most difficult thread- helping a friend, Bill Hedin

[botn]

Bill never came on the boards and directly asked for money. People just gave it based on his assertion that he might have to sell his card collection to pay for the funeral.

Barry I am not sure how one can isolate money once given. Even if it is not going to the same account it is going to the same person. So as long as your part of the 5K Bill is getting does not go into the same account he uses to pay for cards, you are cool?

[barrysloate]

Originally Posted by botn

Bill never came on the boards and directly asked for money. People just gave it based on his assertion that he might have to sell his card collection to pay for the funeral.

Barry I am not sure how one can isolate money once given. Even if it is not going to the same account it is going to the same person. So as long as your part of the 5K Bill is getting does not go into the same account he uses to pay for cards, you are cool?

I'm somewhat cool Greg, but I wish that I didn't hear about it this morning. I would like to see my entire donation go towards the funeral expenses. I know I can't control what he does with the money but it is still my hope. It's like when someone sells a baseball card reluctantly only under the condition that the new owner will keep it in his collection and promises never to sell it. Of course you can't enforce that, and the new owner can do whatever he wants with it. But you still hope that you made the right decision and the recipient will honor it. That's all I can expect.

[barrysloate]

Jeff- that's an interesting idea. I don't know if Leon is willing to do that but it does ensure where the money will go.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by barrysloate

I'm somewhat cool Greg, but I wish that I didn't hear about it this morning. I would like to see my entire donation go towards the funeral expenses. I know I can't control what he does with the money but it is still my hope. It's like when someone sells a baseball card reluctantly only under the condition that the new owner will keep it in his collection and promises never to sell it. Of course you can't enforce that, and the new owner can do whatever he wants with it. But you still hope that you made the right decision and the recipient will honor it. That's all I can expect.

I think Greg's point is that the issue isn't where he puts these specific funds, it's whether he truly needed them in the first place. And I don't pretend to know, but it's a legitimate question given the ebay buying.

[ullmandds]

That seems like an awful lot to ask a vintage baseball card message board... seems like more of a job for the family?

[Wayward99]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

I think Greg's point is that the issue isn't where he puts these specific funds, it's whether he truly needed them in the first place. And I don't pretend to know, but it's a legitimate question given the ebay buying.

No, no it's not. To Greg's earlier comment, he didn't ask for money or assistance. He's grieving and posted here within hours of his wife's passing that he wasn't sure how he was going to cope and that his collection may have to be sacrificed. He didn't say that as a fact. Do you honestly think he's been thinking clearly in the last week? Disclaimer: I don't know him and I didn't donate.

I think the idea of setting up a memorial fund was a noble one and wholly well intended. But it was volunteered by Leon and Barry (as far as we know). If you need to know how your donation (to any cause) will be used, then you need to do your homework and keep specific focus on your donations and go through recognized organizations. Donating via an internet message board might not be your thing.

If you have a problem with any of this, then your issue is with Barry and Leon, not Bill. The fact that you can track his ebay purchases is moot - he never asked for a dime. But coming on here and questioning his motives before his wife is in the ground is despicable. Barry, I hope you do send this to an ethicist because I think you're in for an eye opener.