Enough with the hostility...

Hankphenom · #1 03-04-2013, 03:13 PM

Several years ago, I read that some 5% of people have a sociopathic personality. Suddenly, a great deal of human behavior was explained to me. These are not psychopaths, they will not become serial killers, although I'm sure they are responsible for most of the criminal behavior. Instead, they will live more or less normal lives and seem pretty much like everyone else, except they will be doing it without any feeling or caring for other people. That doesn't mean they won't do something that's in your best interests, but only because it's in their best interests, too. We live with these people, we work with these people, and they are in our hobby, too. They come to our notice most often on the roads and in chat rooms. They are the ones who, when seeing a lane shift up ahead, drive as fast as they can to get to the head of the line before merging, and they are the ones who taunt and jeer from behind the safety of a keyboard. They are cowards, mostly, and would never act like that in public for fear of the consequences. These are the jerks of the world, known colloquially as ***holes. But they could care less about what we think of them. In fact, they think the rest of us are stupid and weak, like Ray Liotta's character Henry Hill says in "Goodfellas." 5%--1 in 20. It really does explain a lot.

Runscott · #2 03-04-2013, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hankphenom

Several years ago, I read that some 5% of people have a sociopathic personality. Suddenly, a great deal of human behavior was explained to me. These are not psychopaths, they will not become serial killers, although I'm sure they are responsible for most of the criminal behavior. Instead, they will live more or less normal lives and seem pretty much like everyone else, except they will be doing it without any feeling or caring for other people. That doesn't mean they won't do something that's in your best interests, but only because it's in their best interests, too. We live with these people, we work with these people, and they are in our hobby, too. They come to our notice most often on the roads and in chat rooms. They are the ones who, when seeing a lane shift up ahead, drive as fast as they can to get to the head of the line before merging, and they are the ones who taunt and jeer from behind the safety of a keyboard. They are cowards, mostly, and would never act like that in public for fear of the consequences. These are the jerks of the world, known colloquially as ***holes. But they could care less about what we think of them. In fact, they think the rest of us are stupid and weak, like Ray Liotta's character Henry Hill says in "Goodfellas." 5%--1 in 20. It really does explain a lot.

Hank, I met one of these people about 8 years ago and we became good friends. There was something odd and disattached about him, but I didn't understand it until he told me that he was a 'social misanthrope'. As he went on to describe himself, very clinically, I thought he was joking. But he told me that because he doesn't care about anyone (what they think, how they feel, etc.), he has had to learn the proper social responses in various situations. He was in his '50s when I met him, so he had had years to practice.

Social misanthropes are a lot different from people who are actually @ssholes by nature. The care, just not in the correct direction.

Edited to add: actually, our friendship was a one-way friendship, as he had no need whatsoever for friends. If he got upset with someone, it wasn't really 'being upset' as much as it was being perturbed because he knew the other person wasn't following accepted social rules.

Peter_Spaeth · #3 03-04-2013, 03:24 PM

That's it! All those CU guys are sociopaths, I knew it!

EvilKing00 · #4 03-04-2013, 05:34 PM

IMO there isnt anything to fight about, jesh, its just cardboard

carrigansghost · #5 03-04-2013, 05:42 PM

Scott posting on a thread about getting along? I can't wait for my collection to be sold. I found this board to be a great way to waste free time until the new batch came around. Richard, I'm sorry I took your comments wrong. I do have a narrow frame of collecting and got crap from a lot of MEMBERS. Either appeciate other's collections or get the hell out. I left for 4 months just to see if anything would change, yup, it got worse.

Runscott · #6 03-04-2013, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrigansghost

Scott posting on a thread about getting along? I can't wait for my collection to be sold. I found this board to be a great way to waste free time until the new batch came around. Richard, I'm sorry I took your comments wrong. I do have a narrow frame of collecting and got crap from a lot of MEMBERS. Either appeciate other's collections or get the hell out. I left for 4 months just to see if anything would change, yup, it got worse.

I was wrong. One of them is reading this thread.

And yes, it is now worse.

ethicsprof · #7 03-04-2013, 07:47 PM

many,many thanks to you and your thesaurus!!!
all the best, ole buddy
barry

carrigansghost · #8 03-04-2013, 07:47 PM

Scott, please take this in the manner that it is presented, do not read anything more into it. This written in all honesty. F*** off, Punk.

ethicsprof · #9 03-04-2013, 05:45 PM

many thanks for the high praise!!!
Coming from you it is most cherished.
Let's go for the position jointly---and accept only if done immediately by acclamation.
all the best to you my friend,
barry

HRBAKER · #10 03-04-2013, 05:56 PM

After a lengthy consultation with my thesaurus, I agree with Barry.
Well said.

cubsfan-budman · #11 03-04-2013, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Runscott

Hank, I met one of these people about 8 years ago and we became good friends. There was something odd and disattached about him, but I didn't understand it until he told me that he was a 'social misanthrope'. As he went on to describe himself, very clinically, I thought he was joking. But he told me that because he doesn't care about anyone (what they think, how they feel, etc.), he has had to learn the proper social responses in various situations. He was in his '50s when I met him, so he had had years to practice.

Social misanthropes are a lot different from people who are actually @ssholes by nature. The care, just not in the correct direction.

Edited to add: actually, our friendship was a one-way friendship, as he had no need whatsoever for friends. If he got upset with someone, it wasn't really 'being upset' as much as it was being perturbed because he knew the other person wasn't following accepted social rules.

Are you friends with Dexter?

Runscott · #12 03-04-2013, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cubsfan-budman

Are you friends with Dexter?

I forgot about that show, but yes, Dexter is a perfect example of a 'social misanthrope' - like my friend, there is just a glimpse of empathy, etc. Like Dexter, a lot of people enjoyed being around my friend. But that may say more about our failure to pay attention to others, than anything else.

packs · #13 03-04-2013, 04:14 PM

I only really get frustrated with the autograph forum. I love autographs and I think we've got some incredible members other there. But man, enough is enough.

Leon · #14 03-04-2013, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by packs

I only really get frustrated with the autograph forum. I love autographs and I think we've got some incredible members other there. But man, enough is enough.

There is a reason they have their own private Idaho

. Love those guys but they can squabble....

T206Collector · #15 03-04-2013, 04:32 PM

A large segment of the pre-war hobby is competitive. From set registries to bidding against each other at auction -- the experience caters to it. Add a dash of human jealously inherent in material possessions, and a pinch of class struggle over what kinds of old cardboard we can each afford and then...

BLAMMO!!

...humans behaving badly.

Imagine if we all owned or could own the same cards for the same price without any economic or scarcity barriers. My that would be boring -- like a world awash in 1988 Donruss.

A lot of the competitive/difficulty in acquiring these little treasures is what makes the hobby great. But it can also get out of control when egos get involved.

Gradedcardman · #16 03-04-2013, 04:33 PM

As most have mentioned, it is great to have this point as part of the everyday discussion. Although I have not had the back and forth on the boards for everyone to see, I do have a similar situation to what Dan has had with an ebay listing. Simply put, the card is listed at a price that I feel leaves room for negotiating. I get an offer (from a board member) and then counter. The guy comes back and tells me essentially what a crappy card it is, that its not graded, that its only missing one color and on and on. Listen, if I make a counter and you don't like it then reject the offer. Don't start lowering your offer to be a jerk. Anyway, I am not going to open that can of worms here because its not that important.

Anyway, again thanks to Wazoo for this thread !!

sbfinley · #17 03-04-2013, 03:35 PM

I do not mind heated discussion or healthy disagreement. It is unnecessary nor practical for all members to agree or to simply agree to disagree. What I do not find necessary is the overtly vulgar language and innuendos that seem token to the board now. I would agree that this community is largely full of affluent adults, but collecting cards is the product of childhood hobby and it would be ignorant to think that some of the younger collectors don't migrate here. If your response to a matter is something you wouldn't reasonably be comfortable letting your adolescent son or daughter read aloud then it probably isn't an enrichment to the board or hobby. Keep things in prospective, some people struggle to find their next meal. We spend disposable income on old baseball cards.