The New Directory of Collectorisms...

[JollyElm]

“And then? And then when I walked down the street people would've looked and they would've said, there goes the best there ever was in this game of puns and wordplay.”*

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part XI - Section 3 of 3


*Which is entirely false, because this stuff is just monumentally tiring, amirite (that's a call-back to the first post in this nonsense thread)?


727. Denty-Header
A card having a crease running across the player’s face.

728. Golden Newbies
The cards produced after Topps stopped issuing sets in multiple series that you’ve always considered to be too ‘modern’ to bother getting graded, but now are old enough that they can carry some nice value.

729. “My horsehide is living rent-free in that guy’s mitt”
When one net54 member seems to have a weird obsession with another member, and his attempts to continually go after him are laughably in vain.

730. Brimmortals
The special category of players whose career numbers are a no-brainer for enshrinement in Cooperstown, but whose unforgiveable baseball sins have left them stranded forever on the threshold looking in.

See also: Hofogenous - the proper descriptive term used to indicate that a group of cards is ‘all’ Hall of Famers, except for the fact Pete Rose, Joe Jackson and/or other pariahs are actually a part of it.

731. Dotcomaraderie (also The Fellowship of the Grab)
The joy of different people with different likes, interests and personalities all meeting up on-line for a shared enthusiasm of baseball card collecting.

See also: Ballpayers - the card collecting community as a whole.

See also: Aarpool Lane - the more senior collectors who enjoy looking back and sharing nostalgic stories of the innocent, halcyon days of their card collecting youth.

732. Shtick Figures (also Packsimiles)
The colorful illustrations of baseball players found adorning vintage wrappers, boxes and other packaging which were obviously intended to resemble real major leaguers, but whose facial and/or other features were altered slightly to make them ‘different’ people.

733. Weakilateral
Card sets, like 1954 Topps and others, that appear to be off-centered just by the very nature of their layouts.

734. Short Border Crook
A seller on eBay who deceptively crops his picture to eliminate a little bit on all sides of a lower or mid-grade card to make it magically appear to have four perfectly sharp corners.

735. Detourist Trap
When a card gets caught up in the annoying and pointless over-examinations, delays and worries associated with eBay’s authenticity debacle.

See also: Crawlternate Route - when one of these overly-authenticated cards takes much too long to get into the hands of the buyer.

See also: The Set Break Swerve - the crafty inclusion of such algorithm-upsetting words as “set break” or “pack” in an auction listing to avoid leaving it susceptible to eBay's authentication policies.

736. Window Toast
A card in a holder that has become quite faded, most likely due to being regularly burned by the sun’s rays as it sat forever inside of a shopowner’s display case.

737. Mantoll
When trading for or buying a Mickey Mantle card, the need to always buck up more than it is currently worth, because both you and the other guy know full well it will continue soaring up and away in value from the moment you land it.

See also: Multimantler (slang) - a shorthand way of suggesting a card is valuable, in that a trader would have to offer up an assortment of pricey Mantle cards to get it off of your hands.

738. Netflixceptional
Any hobby story or occurrence that is so magnificent, it would make a must-see movie or TV series.

739. Blue Yonderers
The players and cards you can never go wrong with, because they will perpetually continue to go up, up, up in value.

See also: Blue Chippopotamus - an elite baseball card that not only will always be very desirable and fat with value, but will continually and exponentially fatten in value.

See also: Trajectormenty - when you’ve been meaning to land a key card for some time, but it just keeps getting further out of your reach as it gets more and more expensive.

740. Pafkontrary
The belief that Topps’ 1952 offering counts as their first real entry into the baseball card marketplace, but that requires entirely ignoring the 1951 ‘Red Back’ and ‘Blue Back’ sets which were released just the year before.

741. Imaginotion
Getting lost in revery thinking about what it would be like to possess one of the most historically epic cards known to man.

See also: Boy Meets Grail - any nostalgic recounting of the time your younger self (or perhaps your son) first caught a glimpse of an illustrious, world famous card.

742. Demigodawful (also Halfpointless)
Any card having a numerical grade of 1.5, which means it doesn’t quite have the divine status of being totally, completely horrific, but falls just a hair shy of that dubious status.

743. Buy of the Tiger
The serious landing of a great old card of one of Detroit’s finest players, such as Ty Cobb, Hank Greenberg, Al Kaline or Charlie Gehringer.

744. Blowback to the Future
The anger over Topps ruining great old vintage cards by invasively stamping the fronts for contemporary buyback insert promotions.

745. “Four is the New Seven” (adage)
As old cards are regularly being hammered by the new brutality of the TPGs, lower slab numbers are not only the order of the day, but are now more acceptable to collectors than ever before.

See also: Higher Heightsing - with high grade examples of cards becoming a rarity due to harsher grading standards, when you see a vintage card with a high number sitting inside of a new holder, you know the graders TRULY deemed it to be outstanding.

See also: Apexceptional - a newly graded vintage card with a high number on the slab.

746. Sitcommerce
When apologists for notorious on-line price extortionists claim they have fine business models, and you can’t help but laugh and wonder, “If that’s the case, why don’t they buy up all of the same cards that others list on eBay for 1/4 of their price and sell them for a huge profit??”

747. Tirading Cards
The cards in your collection of players you find completely, utterly repugnant.

748. Sarcophagospel
The accepted belief that in order to sell a card for a decent price these days, you need to have it graded and situated inside of a slab.

749. Fandom Numbers
How a team’s devoted followers can tell you without hesitation what number uniform an average player from decades ago wore.

750. Breaker’s Dozen
The serendipitous discovery that a wax pack you opened up contained an additional card that pushed it past the number of cards the pack was supposed to hold.
Also applies to the insertion of an ‘extra’ chase card in a modern pack.

751. Swellebration
When a rare or expensive card comes up for auction and captures everyone’s attention so much that a thread is started to enthusiastically begin marveling about how high the bids are going and wondering what the final hammer price will be.

752. Slabsolutism
The state of needing to keep a collection uniform by ensuring all cards are only housed inside the holders of one’s preferred TPG.

See also: “Beauty is in the eye of the reholder” - the motto of such collectors.

753. Insamenity
When the same sellers bring the same boxes of ‘looked-through-a-million-times’ cards and the same wildly overpriced superstars to show after show after show and expect different results.

754. Calamnesty
When something goes very wrong during the course of a transaction, but you are satisfied that the other party wasn’t motivated by malicious intent.

See also: Walking on Neggshells - the internal debate of trying to decide if the relatively bad eBay experience you had merits leaving negative feedback for the seller.

755. Goncore
Any regular issue, not a tribute or special, card of a player appearing in a set the year after he had actually played in his final career game.

756. Batters Not Included
When an eBay seller has multiple cards showing in his pics, but issues a disclaimer stating that the auction is only for the single card listed in the title and not the other ones pictured.

757. Siameasly Twin
That no good so-and-so who collects the exact same stuff as you, and he’s seemingly always able to grab the cards you lust after right from under your nose.

See also: Caintemptible - when you become filled with a murderous rage as your ‘collecting brother’ smugly posts yet another new pick-up.

758. Fraughtical
The inherent issues and dangers faced when attempting to make a purchase from overseas.

759. Pigmentality
Using your familiarity with the specific colors Topps assigned to each team’s players in certain sets to quickly determine if the small portion of a card you can see popping out of other things has the right hues to potentially be an important card.

760. Booster Rooster
A member crowing words to the effect of, “What a great card! I can’t see this one lasting very long,” in someone else’s FS thread.

See also: Whine Seller - anyone who expresses disdain for the fact that no one is jumping on the cards he has put up for sale.

761. Close Horse
How cards of Hall of Fame relief pitcher, Hoyt Wilhem, always seemed to have him sporting yet another new team’s uniform each season.

762. Prigonometry
When a superstar switches teams via a trade or a huge free agency deal, and he simply expects the current wearer of ‘his’ uniform number on the new team to hand it over.

See also: Centeryielder - a player who willingly agrees to surrender his number to the new guy.

763. Plundervalued
An accounting term referring to buying a sizeable lot of cards with some pricey ones mixed in, and by applying the money spent across everything, including the commons, you are able to tell yourself you got the big cards at a super price.

764. Endless Cardboard in a Cardboardless World
The future of the card collecting hobby.

765. Prebay Rare
Cards that used to be crazy cool, because they were so scarce you would never catch a glimpse of one except in a baseball card magazine or price guide, but now can be readily seen anytime you want on eBay.

766. Weedsteed
When a section is overcrowded by newer and newer threads being started, but you have the guts to face it head on and post your new thread anyway.

767. Marital Defrayal
After buying an expensive card, swearing to your wife that it’s your full intention to ‘try’ to sell off other things of yours to get the money back.

768. The Gift of Grab
The ability to use your amiable personality and people skills to pursuade a seller to lower his price down closer to where you want it to be.

769. Bypasstros (also Living in the Pastrodome)
When you hear the Houston Astros mentioned and your brain skips past and can’t seem to acknowledge the fact that the team is ‘now’ an American League squad.

See also: Wisconsolable - still not being able to understand how, why or when the Milwaukee Brewers became a National League franchise.

770. Bent Grade
The way to differentiate slabbed cards with qualifiers from those having ‘straight’ grades.
“It’s OC, a bent 9.”

771. Scamputee
Any lovable card you own which has significant portions of it missing.

772. Platinum Bland
That certain highly valuable and treasured card which every collector is ‘supposed’ to drool over, but really does nothing for you personally.

See also: Desirablasphemy - making the mistake of voicing this opinion to other serious collectors.

773. Grift Basket
A large box of cards for sale that the dealer claims hasn’t been searched through or cherry-picked, but you know darned well every decent card above ‘common’ status has been summarily removed.

774. Unreasonable Reasonableness
When a seller who always lists his cards at ridiculously high prices says he is open to reasonable offers, but you have no idea what his definition of ‘reasonable’ could possibly be.

775. Refried BINs
When you message a seller offering to buy his card for a little bit less than what he’s listed it for, and his response is to immediately raise the Buy-It-Now price on the already overpriced card.

776. D.H. Flawrence
Anyone who actively writes, compiles and maintains checklists of official and unofficial errors and variations across baseball card sets.

777. Bilottoral
The duality of being a true collector who’s in it for the enjoyment, but also someone who is always striving to make sure his collection continually grows more and more valuable.

778. Historyonics
The melodrama of someone insisting his views on what a long dead ballplayer was like are indisputably accurate, although he has no first hand knowledge of the subject and all of his opinions are based upon 2nd, 3rd or 4th party accounts bent and twisted over a huge length of time.

779. Grime Reaper
When a card is so hard to find that its awful condition doesn’t even come into play, and you just grab it the moment an opportunity arises.

780. Drearview Mirror
The misery of only finding out after the fact that a card you’re always hunting for came up for sale recently and was landed by someone else.

781. Fringe Vanilla
The players whose career numbers are somewhat in the neighborhood of Cooperstown-worthy respectability, but don’t enjoy much, if any, serious support from baseball fans for enshrinement.

See also: Free-for-Hall - any thread that was ostensibly started to ‘discuss’ the merits of various enshrined Hall of Famers, but devolves into a rancorous, opinionated airing of grievances.

See also: cooperstown Hall of Participation (cHOP) (under construction) - a place to eat breakfast while putting a bunch of theoretical, non-standardized sabermetric baseball statistics through a blender to make them fit your opinion of whether or not a borderline player deserves enshrinement in The Hall of Fame.

782. “Why don’t you two get a (private chat) room!”
The frustrated cry of everyone reading a thread that has degenerated into nothing but an endless back and forth between a pair of headstrong members.

See also: Greeting a Dead Horse - other members being forced to open the thread every time one of these combatants issues a new post, simply to mark it as ‘read.’



Finally, the end of this trilogy!!!

But since you've been such good boys all year, a half-Krampus, half-Santa hybrid will show up at Christmas time to leave even more funny stuff coal in your net54 stockings...

[JollyElm]

Q: If Santa Claus fills in as the Buffalo Bills' defensive coordinator for tomorrow's Christmas Eve game, what is his main strategy going to be??

A: Blitzen!! Duh!!!


I present to you Collectorisms Part XII (Days of Christmas)


"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to roll your eyes."



***ALERT!!!!!!*** There is a lot to unwrap here (get it?), so take your time!!! Ho-ho-hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #829 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.


No plastic straws were used in creating this horsereindeershit, and no Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifles were used to shoot any kids' eyes out.


The only way to survive this stupidity is to start chugging mass quantities of rum-rich eggnog!!!!!!!!!!!




783. Infelleribility
The oft-heard quip that whenever you run across anything Bob Feller related, it is virtually guaranteed that the piece will have his autograph on it.

784. Flipmiffed
Although you know once you sell a card, the new owner is free to do with it whatever he wants, you still feel peeved when you see him quickly turn around and resell his new acquisition for a nice profit...a nice profit that ‘rightfully’ should’ve been yours.

785. Counter-refitter
A swindler who is able to seamlessly insert a phony replica or reprint card into an authentic slab to replace the valuable original he has removed.

786. Creeptocurrency
The attempt by someone you don’t know to buy something off of you via a strange new payment method you’ve heard of, but know nothing about and have no faith in.

787. Ballpark Testament
The stories, photographs and memories reflecting a wonderfully personal and enduring love for your team’s long-gone stadium, which had been their home in your earliest days of being a baseball fan.

788. Bequeazy
The troubled feeling of knowing that the people you leave your collection to after you pass away aren’t going to care one iota about how much you cherished and slaved over it for years and years, they’re just going to quickly sell everything off and grab the dough.

See also: “Death, Where is Thy Ka-ching?” - an expression noting how some inheritors don’t have a clue how to profitably liquidate their loved one’s collection.

789. Numeralpha Male
Any player who is immediately identifiable by nothing more than the mere mention of a uniform number - like 3, 9, 21, 24, 32, 99, etc.

See also: Co-Meekual - when the same number was worn by two different all-time greats, but one of them takes a back seat when it comes to instantly coming to the mind of most fans.

See also: Surnameous - any player who is immediately identifiable by the mere mention of his first name.

790. See Sawcery
The act of trying to magically establish a proper asking price for a card whose past sales numbers have consistently and wildly fluctuated up and down.

See also: Moving Starget - when this process involves a serious Hall of Famer card.

791. “A long bird in a short sky” (AKA Longbirding) (idiom)
The realization that in order to sell an epic card of yours, you need something other than eBay - like an auction house or the like - to get the right eyes on it and have the best chance of maximizing the sales price.

792. Sellevation
The act of purchasing a higher graded version of a card you own, and then selling off the original to help defray the cost of the upgrade.

793. Flipomatic Immunity
As long as it’s not cracked out of its slab, a card - even a completely overgraded one - will remain at the number the TPG deemed it to be and will forever enjoy the fruits and values associated with that particular grade.

794. Dough Strings Attached
Always knowing that once you accept a card as a gift from someone, even if you didn’t really want it in the first place, you will somehow, some way eventually end up paying for it.

795. Flawer Power
The love and satisfaction of landing a key, rare and valuable error card or variation.

796. Slabflection Hindrance (also Flashing Blights)
The unavoidable fact that you cannot snap a photograph of a graded card without all sorts of distracting reflections and shadows clouding and affecting the image.

See also: “Lights, Camera, Refraction!” - a jaunty expression of this reality.

See also: Diffractured - any picture of a graded card markedly affected by shadows and reflections.

See also: Mirror Scrimmage - playing the game of looking at the distorted backwards images being reflected in the photo of a TPG slab or the glass of a framed photo and trying to figure out what can be found there.

See also: Reflective Detective - a person who enjoys engaging in this activity.

See also: Faceholder - a picture where the reflected mug of the photographer is plainly visible.

See also: Phonedemental - the one constant in each of these photographs is the appearance of the rectangular silhouetted shadow of the picture taker’s cell phone.

797. Rerunaware
When someone again bumps his thread by noting “Still available,” seeming to be alone in not realizing his asking price is unreasonably high for the card.

See also: Skyhighlander - a seller committing this ‘offense.’

798. Behemother Effer!
The frustration involved with trying to complete a very large set.

799. Omission Control
The various checklist cover-up approaches that Topps used to disguise the fact that certain card numbers in certain sets did not actually exist.

800. Slack Jacket
The protective ‘armor’ afforded by the thick, reflective slab which by its very nature makes light creases, wrinkles, gum residue or other surface issues - that were plainly obvious when the card was in hand - ‘disappear’ due to the effort now required to even realize there are defects to be found.

See also: Cloak and Swagger - when a card’s appearance is greatly improved by a slab’s ability to conceal its shortcomings.

See also: Flyinhearted - a card that technically deserves the low grade it received, but has the strong eye appeal of a much higher grade.

See also: Mysterical Blindness - if a card ensconced in a holder has flaws that are no longer detectable by the person viewing it, do those flaws actually even exist or matter anymore?

801. Monkeyshrines
Deceptively using “HOF” when selling a card to raise the player’s status sky high, but he isn’t in Cooperstown or any other major sport’s Hall of Fame, but ‘just’ a minor state, college or team version.

802. Factcertainty
Any beliefs or assumptions that you’ve devised about specific cards or sets that may not have ever been proven to be literally true, but are certainly valid enough to you based on personal experience.

803. Cross-Postmortem
When someone makes a point of stating the card he’s selling is also being posted in other forums, and your first thought is, “So, your attempt to sell it at that ridiculous price is going to die a miserable death on other sites, too??”

See also: Uppermosting - when someone points out that their (already exorbitantly priced) cards are listed for even higher amounts on eBay due to the fees.

804. Pennywise-Ass
A person who, after determining what someone paid for the card he’s trying to trade for or buy off of him, attempts to use the knowledge to gain some sort of leverage.

805. Screwveneer
A crease or wrinkle appearing on the surface of a card, but not going through to the other side.

806. Freejects
The cards from from the junk wax era that were so overproduced, easily found and worthless that you aren't able to even give them away gratis.

807. Strung-Upcharge
The futile irritation that comes when - after following all proper valuation protocols with a card submission - the TPG tells you that based on the grades your cards received, you owe them significantly higher fees.

See also: Embittersweet - feeling furious that you’re being stuck with unwarranted additional grading charges, but finding some solace in the fact that a higher grade ‘turned’ your card into a more valuable one.

See also: Slabductee - any card being held hostage by a TPG until the submitter pays the ‘ransom’ of higher service level fees.

808. Uncommonplace
Searching eBay to find information on something unusual you picked up, but not finding a single listing for one, so you’re left not knowing whether the piece is very rare or so run-of-the-mill that it’s not worth the listing fees involved in trying to sell one.

809. Youtuberculosis
A condition causing any rational person, after clicking on a link to watch a video about sportscards or such, to continue clicking on more and more tangential sports (and beyond) links.

810. Edgehog
A card so off-centered that its image is a mere hair away from hitting one or two borders and being labeled as ‘miscut.’

811. Ripdated
After hearing that an all-time great has just passed away, being startled to find his death date - today’s date - has already been edited in to his Wikipedia page bio.

See also: Yesterdais - any old picture or video from a Cooperstown induction ceremony which captures the gathered assembly of elderly all-time greats.

812. Cripple Digits
From a buyer’s perspective, the crushing amount of increase in price a card gains between one number grade and just a single number grade higher.

813. Passersbuying
Grabbing something at a card show that you are unfamiliar with, but it looks cool and just jumps off the dealer’s table at you.

814. Crowd Ofcourseing
Starting a thread to find opinions on something, when you already know full well that every responder is simply going to agree with your thoughts.

815. Flinchworm
Someone who ignores a seller’s claim that his price is firm and tries to talk him into shrinking back and letting it go for cheaper.

816. Momprovisations
The impromptu tactics your younger self was able to develop in order to keep your baseball card collection hidden away and safe from your mother’s desire to chuck it all away.

817. Squanderlust
The impulsive habit of making rash baseball card purchasing decisions, so you’re always forking over way too much money and ultimately turning all of your buys into downright bad moves.

See also: Möbius Trip - the simple fact that no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you will continue going round and round, stumbling through the same types of poor purchasing choices.

818. Indivisualism
The simple fact that different collectors looking at the same card at the same time will only see what they choose to see, and will have widely different assessments of its shape, beauty, desirability, value, etc.

819. Open Mick Night
Any thread started to again have members pile on their reverence and adulation for Mickey Mantle.

820. Sleepstakes
Waking up to find the bid you placed on something the night before came out on top and brought you home a big victory.

821. Let’s Make a Steal
Any eBay ‘Pick Your Card’ auction which has you spinning the game show-like wheel to get to the card you are thinking of buying, and it ends up looking nice with a price that is sweet.

822. Filosophistry
PSA’s practice of first in, last out (FILO), wherein the cards submitted ages ago are endlessly ignored and put on the back burner, while cards newly submitted at substantially higher grading fees are graded and sent out quickly.

See also: WAH Qualifier (in development) - ‘WAH’ would only appear on the slabs of cards that were resubmitted in their holders to PSA in an attempt to to receive a higher grade, but failed to do so. It stands for “Wrong Again, Honey.”

See also: FU - the only ‘qualifier’ virtually every customer would slap on PSA these days.

823. Memoremix
When someone talks about the first pack he ever opened as a kid, and names specific cards it held, although he believes the story to be true, his account is most likely an innocent amalgamation of different baseball card rememberances.

824. Smarmistice (also Waratorium)
Praying to the heavens that any of the self-involved members who constantly assess every freaking thing by using the theoretical stat of WAR, would just for once give it a rest and take a different approach.

825. Magnitrickation
How enlarged or high-def scans of any of your cards will always make them look in ridiculously worse shape than they actually are.

826. Adjectivitis
The condition affecting eBay sellers who greatly overdo the use of descriptive words to sell their superb, awesome, glorious, marvelous, magnificent, exceptional, heavenly treasures.

827. Disgustimate
Asking for opinions on what a card in awful shape will grade at if submitted to a TPG.

See also: Slop Hop - the big boost in monetary value a very low grade star card gets the moment it is graded and put into a slab.

828. Shopscotch
The act of jumping around to different sites in a search for a card you want to purchase.

829. Christmas Reprieve
When your significant other spends the entire year carping about your ‘dumb little hobby,’ but relents long enough to surprise you with a hobby-related gift for the holidays.

See also: Elf-Actualization - when you buy yourself a nice hobby piece for Christmas.


And to all a good night...

[JollyElm]

“We all get the exact same 365 days, but not the exact same cards...”


DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!

I present to you a special New Year's Eve bonus, Collectorisms Part XIII.


"Get busy collecting, or get busy dying!!"


No animatronic Dick Clarks were used in the creation of this debacle.




830. Sold Lang Syne
The melancholy of looking back on your past sales and thinking what a shame it was you decided to sell your cards when you did, because every one of them is now worth ten times as much.

831. Gnawman
Any obvious reseller/flipper who approaches you about lowering the cost or 'value' of a card you have up for sale or trade by using the tired old trope, “I need a little meat on the bone.”

832. Path of Fleece Resistance
Taking all of the rudimentary steps required to ensure a transaction has no real chance of being a scam job.

833. Tobacnology
Using creative and innovative investigative techniques to try to solve the puzzle of how the print sheets of T206 cards were laid out.

See also: “Tobacc in Black” (slang) - selling a T206 card for a nice profit.

834. Distractground
The clever attempt by a seller to utilize some sort of ornate or decorative background in his photo to draw the viewer’s eyes away from recognizing the inherent flaws of a card.

835. Amasstodon
A long-time collector sporting a massive accumulation of cards who comes to the realization that he doesn’t so much collect cards as he does stockpile them.

836. Divuljerk
Someone who inadvertently screws over other collectors by ‘accidentally’ letting slip to the masses a bit of insider information or a hobby secret that has always given the people in the know a distinct advantage in the collecting marketplace.

837. High Horseshit
Someone who feels his views on any subject falling within the parameters of the card collecting world are the only ‘rightful’ sentiments regarding the matter.

See also: IQ Pest - a member seemingly on an endless quest to prove to everyone that he’s the smartest person in every thread he posts in.

838. Donwestinated
The use of overly descriptive, high energy words and phrases to push and persuade people to buy your cards for sale.

839. Breadspread
The simple calculation of taking the price of a card you’re interested in buying and comparing it to how much money you yourself could readily turn around and sell it for (if the need ever arose), to determine if it is a worthwhile buy.

840. Eleventh Sour
As an auction nears its end, the frustrating internal debate of whether or not to place a last ditch effort, much-more-than-you-want-to-spend, bid.

841. Snaggressively Priced (also Sacriprice)
A seller offering his cards for sale at such bargains that they are sure to be immediately grabbed up by anyone seeing them.

842. Soughtomatic
When someone starts a new thread seeking to get hits off their need list from a certain year, you know without even looking that it will include all of the hard-to-get, big-money cards from that particular set.

843. The Buyonic Man (also Steve Costin’)
A collector who doesn’t even bat an eye when forking over a ton of money, even if he is greatly overpaying, for a card he wants at that moment.

844. Low Water Carp
The smallest amount paid for something hobby-related that your significant other can find on a credit card statement that will send her into a tizzy.

845. Mindseyers (also Roll Call-Stars)
The specific stand-out, notable cards that the vast majority of collectors immediately think of the moment a particular set is mentioned.

846. “I’d rather bitch in cardboard heaven than be content in hell.” (maxim)
The collecting fallibility of endlessly searching for new things to complain about, even when the hobby landscape looks and feels relatively promising.


And a very happy last remaining hours of 2022 to everyone!!!!

[Leon]

Quote- "Get busy collecting, or get busy dying"?

I think a lot of us get busy collecting almost everyday! And as they say, every day above ground, is a good day!!

.

[JollyElm]

“By the pricking of my thumbs (undoubtedly from trying to remove a card from an overly snug toploader),
Some more gibberish this way comes..."


I present to you Collectorisms Part XIV - Section 1


***ALERT!!!!!!***
This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #863 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.


Happily, this is now a pet-friendly thread. So, a reminder: Never swing a bat at a hornet's nest. Never. Just walk away. Perhaps, go get yourself a Big Mac or whatever for lunch instead? It doesn't matter if you're wielding your wonderful late aunt's antique smoker in a playful, semi-drunk manner on a sunny afternoon long ago...winged, stinging insects with wicked alarm pheromones are the devil's doing!!! Not going to make that mistake again.
DO NOT read "The New Directory of Collectorisms" if you are allergic to "The New Directory of Collectorisms."


If Collecting was easy, everyone would do it!!*




847. Bidass
A renegade who has the temerity to place a bid for more than the minimally required increment in the ‘Live Auctions’ section.

848. Senile Implant
A card which has been on your need list forever that you unexpectedly stumble across hidden away somewhere in your stuff, and you can’t for the life of you remember ever owning it or placing it there.

849. Nobel Post Prize
Any comment, pick-up, uploaded pic, etc., which makes people exclaim, “You win the thread!”

See also: Havalanche - someone blowing everybody’s minds with their incredible stockpile of applicable cards in any ‘Show Us Your...’ thread.

850. Having a Sheet Tooth
A collector who enjoys expanding his collection of uncut printing pieces.

851. “If the card doesn’t fit, you mustn’t submit”
The time-honored reminder to always take the simple step of measuring out a card and comparing its size to other cards from the same set before sending it off to be graded.

852. Intoxicrated (also Drunk Slab)
A card housed inside of a holder with AA (Authentic Altered) on the label.

853. Betterwürsten (Ger.)
The obligatory addition of the phrase “some better, some worse” after giving a specific assessment of the overall condition of a group of cards.

854. Hannibal Collecter
Anyone who is perfectly fine with adding ‘skinned’ cards to his collection.

855. Soldfinger
A seller who is always able to turn your consignments into great victories for your bank account.

See also: Posse Galore - no matter how many times disreputable consignment persons or entities are exposed, they will always have a group of apologists waiting in line to sing their praises.

856. Misorienteer
Anyone uploading a picture which shows up rotated sideways, with its top and bottom being positioned wrongly to the left and right.

See also: Slantomime - the act of tilting one’s head to the side in order to ‘correctly’ view the picture in the thread.

See also: Tilting Tommy - anyone engaged in this type of (necessary) activity.

See also: Slanthropologist - a member who helps guide you through the process of correcting this uploaded picture problem.

857. Misundermistaken
When a card you auctioned off sells for seriously more than you could have ever imagined.

See also: Misovermistaken - when a card you auctioned off sells for a significantly lower amount than you fully expected it to.

858. “You Shoulda Put a Number On It”
The dismayed reaction to someone hyping an ungraded card they’re trying to sell, which makes you wonder, “If it’s so great, why didn’t you have it graded...like every single other card you sell??”

859. Frieze-Framer
Any card featuring the hallowed, world renowned Yankee Stadium ‘facade’ majestically lining the rooftop of the ballpark in the background.

860. Disapperson
The screenname of someone you’ve completely forgotten about - although he used to be an ever-present, regular poster on the site - that you run across while reading through an old, outdated thread.

861. “I flew too close to the sun on wings of cardboard”
A humble self-assessment after taking a great risk on a purchase, sale or other hobby decision that ultimately turned out to be a terribly poor move.

862. Wesunseldian (refer to #595) (eponym)
A player who seemingly spends an inordinate amount of time playing the role of co-star on other people’s cards.

863. Mountainearness
The claustrophobic feeling of being surrounded by backpack-wearing, outfitted-to-tackle-Kilimanjaro show-goers as they crowd out and bump into everyone around the tables.

See also: Cardsherpa - anyone at a show who is strapped into a large backpack.

864. Musical Rares
When a discovery is made of a crop of ‘lost’ cards - like E98s from the “Black Swamp Find” or the appearance of dozens of cases of 1972 Topps football high numbers - and you’re left standing as the ones you’ve always owned and treasured instantly become a lot less scarce.

See also: A Fate Worse Than Dearth - the rueful realization that in one fell swoop this newly found group of cards has severely lowered the value of yours.

865. Ghestwriter (also Secretarialist)
The clubhouse person who was responsible for ‘autographing’ items in place of a star player who couldn’t be bothered to do so.

866. Snakebelly Pricing
When a seller refuses to put price tags on the fronts of his slabs and holders for all to see, and instead must remove each card from his display case and consult the sticker on its underside to tell you what he’s asking for it.

See also: Great Wit Shark - a predatory seller who thinks his wonderful jocularity, charm and hobby banter is enough to make you ignore his extortionate prices.

867. Crop Smirkles
The entertainment and joy derived from looking at wildly miscut cards.

868. Eyevestigation
A request for members to examine a picture of a card or other piece you have questions about, in the hope that effective insights, opinions and answers can be offered to you.

See also: “Mr. Roarke says hello.” - a gentle way to tell you the item you are seeking information on is nothing more than a fantasy piece.

869. Past-Salesmanship
The skill of effectively moving cards by ensuring your asking prices are very much in line with what similar ones have sold for recently.

See also: Lessen-Lesson - any information that allows a seller to see more clearly and wisely lower his price on a card.

870. Swilljaimet (eponym)
The garbage a scandalous member wants everyone to swallow as he dodges legitimate questions about his integrity and starts playing the victim in a thread he started in a silly attempt at damage control.

See also: 12-Sidestep Program - the process of someone pretending to come here seeking ‘hobby redemption’ (whatever that is), while avoiding answering any direct questions put to him or actually owning up to any of the misdeeds he was shown to have perpetrated.

871. Steinblech
Any long-winded, novel-length post in a thread that you have no desire to read.

See also: Stubtitles - when somebody sums up another member’s lengthy TLDR (“too long, didn’t read”) post in a short and simple, concise retelling of the main points.

See also: Count TLDRacula - someone whose overly long, drawn-out, and/or lecturing post saps the very lifeblood from your soul.

872. Blurbanking
The purposeful use of slightly hazy or unclear pictures of a card in order to obscure its shortcomings - like the true condition of its corners - and profit off of a buyer’s assumption that it’s in better shape than it is.

873. Historical Lackuracy
How common sense, logic and anecdotal evidence leaves no doubt that the year of issue date of a card set is different from what it has always been accepted to be.

See also: Year and Loathing - the disgust in knowing that although you can prove the date of issue on a TPG’s labels for a particular card set is wrong, there’s no chance they’ll ever agree to correct it.

874. Capernicus
An expert in the field of supporting or opposing the identification and/or dating of a game used hat.

875. Overwanter
Someone posting cards for trade which are generally collected by ‘everyone,’ but whose need list is comprised of extremely tough gets or things that are much more valuable than what he’s offering in return.

876. Back and Frothing
When talks about a proposed sale or trade of a card go from being polite and courteous negotiations to swiftly heading downhill and straight into the crapper.

877. Binder Banter
Any discussion centered around the joys and pains of trying to complete full sets.

878. Nopuncts (NP’s)
Members whose posts are run-on sentences without a single capital letter, period, comma or other punctuation mark used to separate thoughts or topic changes and let the reader know where one sentence ends and a new one begins.

879. Sideklicks
Any live links embedded in a member’s signature/footer.

880. Cardboard Inversiality
The law of nature stating that the higher the card numbers in a set go, the fewer of them you will have in your boxes.



End of section 1...so, head outside and feel how the growing warmth means the start of the baseball season is nearly upon us at last!!!

[Lordstan]

This is awesome. There are too many good one for me to list. I did create one term a while ago, you could add to the list if you want...Kreindleritis.

https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=132908

[JollyElm]

Originally Posted by Lordstan

This is awesome. There are too many good one for me to list. I did create one term a while ago, you could add to the list if you want...Kreindleritis.

https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=132908

Thanks! Since you're probably the only person still reading this stuff, stay tuned for the 'Part 2' drop in a couple of days.