Funny Pictures

[bnorth]

Here are a few funny ones.

[bnorth]

Not a picture but funny.

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises,
two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

Well," said the man, "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife,
when on a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.
While we were looking for our balls, I noticed one of the cows had
something in its rear end. I walked over and lifted the tail, and sure
enough,
there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the
middle
of the cow's butt."

That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I was lifting the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks
like yours!"

I don't remember much after that!"

[DHogan]

https://www.net54baseball.com/attach...1&d=1687762924

[mrreality68]

Originally Posted by DHogan

https://www.net54baseball.com/attach...1&d=1687762924

like it although those rounded corners look about as sharp as some of the corners on some of my cards

[DHogan]

Originally Posted by mrreality68

like it although those rounded corners look about as sharp as some of the corners on some of my cards

It just needs a few creases to look like some of my better cards.

[The-Cardfather]

.

[bnorth]

Not a picture but it still made me laugh.


Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still lost....it's a man thing.