BST etiquette am I wrong

Peter_Spaeth · #1 03-01-2025, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jayshum

Pretty big assumption I think given what the OP says happened. Who knows what the seller told someone else. Maybe he asked the same question and was waiting to see which person responded first.

That kind of BS would not reflect well on the seller either IMO, if that's what happened. In that case, the right response to Jonathan would have been, deal pending with someone else, but in case it falls through, you're next in line and let me know if no fee is OK.

brunswickreeves · #2 03-01-2025, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

That kind of BS would not reflect well on the seller either IMO, if that's what happened. In that case, the right response to Jonathan would have been, deal pending with someone else, but in case it falls through, you're next in line and let me know if no fee is OK.

+1

jayshum · #3 03-01-2025, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

That kind of BS would not reflect well on the seller either IMO, if that's what happened. In that case, the right response to Jonathan would have been, deal pending with someone else, but in case it falls through, you're next in line and let me know if no fee is OK.

Agreed, but seems like a possibility based on the information available.

Brent G. · #4 03-01-2025, 01:58 PM

Apparently for some people two hours is too long to wait and buyers should have the phone glued to them.

jingram058 · #5 03-01-2025, 01:58 PM

I just day before yesterday made a deal in the B/S/T, pretty straightforward and like all the others I have been involved in. I sent seller a PM and posted I will take it. No other posts. If the seller came back and said, sorry, someone sent him a PM before I did and the cards are sold, I could live with that.

Cody77 · #6 03-01-2025, 02:12 PM

I had the items posted early Friday morning. I had already received several messages before the OP commented on my thread �if this is still available I�ll take it�. He posted the comment at 5:51pm. In my original post I asked to contact me directly, but he only commented. I saw his comment and responded via private message saying that I was getting a lot of interest in the item already and was asking 1750 and would prefer a non fee method or if he preferred goods and services that he would cover those fees and to please respond quickly due to said interest from others. I sent that message about 30 minutes after his comment was posted. I never got a response from him until 10:48pm that night.

Since I was already in discussion with others (many will message asking for additional photos, offers, etc, but I sent the same message to another buyer and got a response around 7pm and posted a comment on my thread at 7:04pm saying it was sold. Again, the OP didn�t confirm my message or that he was willing to take the item to me personally until 10:48pm. I didn�t see his message until the following morning and told him the item had sold and I had already made the �Sold� comment. He stated that his comment should have been binding and I should have immediately held the item for him. I�ve been buying and selling in memorabilia for nearly 20 years, have done deals with many members here and other places and built a rapport with buyers and sellers for being honest and trustworthy. I have over 5000 on eBay with 100%. When selling or buying I have always confirmed the deal with the seller or buyer before I consider a deal complete. His lack of response in a timely manner to my message, even with my message telling him to respond quickly and there was a lot of interest in the item, lead me to believe that he wasn�t interested in my terms is sale or that he just lost interest. Believe me, I�ve had many people contact me about items during my time selling and they either don�t pay or don�t respond for days. So my rule of doing business is a confirmation between both parties in an agreement before exchanging payment information. I allowed him a chance to confirm and let him know others had interest, so assuming he understood the first to confirm and communicate with me in real time would take it.

Was his comment binding? I don�t believe it�s binding until I get confirmation. I had to reach out directly to him. If he commented, why wouldn�t he contact me directly confirming? That�s how I buy. I�ll comment for the timestamp and then promptly message the seller to confirm my interest and willingness. Instead he left a comment at 5:51pm and didn�t respond back until 10:48pm. Was I supposed to wait until I heard back from him? How would I know when that would be?

To make matters worse, when I messaged him this morning in response to his 10:48 message to let him know the item sold (I had already posted a comment on the thread saying the same at 7pm) he became quite upset to the point that he threatened to take me to court and also report me to Leon. By that point I had already asked him twice to stop messaging me and had to eventually block him to keep him from continuing to harass me in messages. I have spoken to Leon and given him all of the information I just wrote and he removed my infraction notice.

I never spoke directly to this person about the purchase of the item until his response at 10:48pm. To me, if we haven�t directly spoken and confirmed purchase, then the item remains available to someone who can do so. If you have interest in an item and post a comment, then don�t make any effort to contact the seller or confirm the sale, for nearly 6 hours after the comment, that, to me, means he wasn�t serious in the comment and I should move on with the sale to those actively messaging me.

Cody77 · #7 03-01-2025, 02:17 PM

Here are screenshots of his comment on my thread at 5:51pm (which again, I had to reach out directly via message) and his response to me asking him to confirm at 10:48pm. His original post makes it seem as though he responded immediately which is not the case.

oldjudge · #8 03-01-2025, 02:43 PM

I don't see anything wrong with the way either party handled the transaction, just an unfortunate result for Jonathan. The only thing apparent to me is that given the level of interest and the emotions involved the seller apparently sold the card too cheaply.

Cody77 · #9 03-01-2025, 02:54 PM

I used a recent comparison for sold item at auction and even went $100 over that. But, realizing how quickly I was messaged several times, I probably could have held out for more or removed and relisted higher. But, I chose not to do that and honor my list price. But, he left a comment and vanished from contact for several hours. I reached out with a message to confirm the details and that he was good with everything and in that same message told him I had a lot of interest in the item already and to please respond quickly. He says he was out to dinner in his forum post. If that�s the case, why not comment, then directly message me letting me know he would be busy and get back to me soon. Then I would have held it for him. But he only commented. Leaving me to be the one to respond to him directly. That just isn�t how I do business. If you have interest, then show it. If I�m an interested buyer I contact the seller directly and confirm my interest and would explain why I wouldn�t be able to respond for 5 hours rather than rely on the seller to contact me. I made an attempt to contact him and confirm. I shouldn�t have even had to do that much if he wanted the item. Even in my post I stated �contact me directly�. Then for him to threaten to sue me and go to Leon and also make a forum post to try to make me out to be in the wrong when he made no attempt to let me know why he wouldn�t be able to respond for hours. I had to ask him to stop messaging me as he kept sending those types of messages threatening action until I just had to block him from continuing to message me. Very childish behavior that could have been handled much better overall. But I feel that I handled my end as best I could with what I was given. Even with him continuing to message me after I asked him to stop, I didn�t try to take any action against him and simply blocked him. Like an adult.

Peter_Spaeth · #10 03-01-2025, 02:59 PM

I certainly don't condone any threats, it's just a card, whatever, move on. But I think most of us, at least of a certain generation, would have not expected Jonathan to respond immediately and would have taken from that just that he was offline and would respond when he was back online. In the device era people seem to have an expectation of instant communication/gratification which, just speaking for myself, is foreign.

Cody77 · #11 03-01-2025, 03:05 PM

Peter,
Please explain what a reasonable time would be? 1 hour? 5 hours? 2 days? If he wanted the item so badly, why wouldn�t he message me to ask me about how to pay? He didn�t message me at all. He only commented and I had to reach out to him via messenger. He said he was out to dinner in his post on this forum. Why not message me and tell me he would get back to me soon that he was busy but was willing to confirm to me directly. He left a comment and didn�t make any response to me for 5 hours.

If I�m an interested buyer, I�m commenting to time stamp my interest to other interest buyers and then I�m immediately contacting the seller directly to ask about payment information and to confirm I was first to ask about it. If I�m going to be busy, then I also immediately contact the seller and let them know I�ll be busy but will respond in a given amount of time for payment info and such. He did none of that. So in that case I moved on to parties who were showing active interest and made the sell. First come, first served as I told him in the messages this morning.

It isn�t my fault that he was busy and couldn�t respond, it also isn�t my responsibility to know why he wasn�t responding. He should have taken initiative and let me know. I reached out to confirm his interest and got no response. And in that message I mentioned the level of interest and requested a prompt response. It shouldn�t be my responsibility to sit around and wait for a potential buyer to contact me back 5 hours later after leaving a comment. His level of effort, to me, was matching his level of interest, so I moved on with the sale.

bigfanNY · #12 03-01-2025, 03:29 PM

. When I stated I will take it. I consider that a pretty strong declaration of interest. In fact when I posted " I will take it" I gave my word I will follow through with the purchase at the asking price. Because between grown men that's what "I will take it" means. I understand you don't agree what the term " I will take it" means and how it in fact binds you to your word. Now everyone else who reads this thread will understand it as well.

I threatened nothing. I asked if we could Message Leon for his opinion. And after your long derogatory message I gave you my word how I would follow up.

As for him Blocking me he sent me at least 3 messages after saying I shouldn't contact him. So...?

Lorewalker · #13 03-01-2025, 03:01 PM

I know these conflicts are rare but if this keeps happening maybe very specific terms should be created for buyers who are making offers and sellers who create the listings?

Aside from that, the Jax looks nice and the price seems very fair.

raulus · #14 03-01-2025, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldjudge

I don't see anything wrong with the way either party handled the transaction, just an unfortunate result for Jonathan. The only thing apparent to me is that given the level of interest and the emotions involved the seller apparently sold the card too cheaply.

I'll agree with OJ on this one. I can see both sides, but I'm not sure that either party acted unreasonably. Well, until things got ugly, that is.

Sometimes we're going to lose out on cardboard to someone else who gets the deal done faster. If that's because we're prioritizing a dinner or sleep or something else, then that's our decision to make. If it's my buddy and we've done a lot of deals together, that's one thing. But unless a seller confirms that it's ours or that he'll hold it for us, I don't think you can just assume that it's yours or that it's being held for you, regardless of how many posts someone has on the board.

And I have to agree with the seller that an initial offer to take it, followed by radio silence doesn't inspire a lot of confidence, especially if it's someone that I've never dealt with in the past, and particularly in light of all of the other responses that were reportedly rolling in fast and furious.

It's just cardboard, my friends. Nothing to get that excited about. With any luck, our would-be buyer will find another one at a similar price, which should bring some measure of relief to the whole business.

Peter_Spaeth · #15 03-01-2025, 05:35 PM

What do the words, "i'll take it," convey if not an intention to take it? This just isn't complicated IMO. The man said I'll take it, a follow up message was sent clarifying if he was good with no fee, the card was still available at that point, give the man a chance to finalize the deal. Good Lord, the pretzel twisting here is ridiculous IMO.

Peter_Spaeth · #16 03-01-2025, 02:48 PM

You asked him to confirm no fee method but did not give him the benefit of a reasonable period to respond. IMO of course.

BobbyStrawberry · #17 03-01-2025, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

You asked him to confirm no fee method but did not give him the benefit of a reasonable period to respond. IMO of course.

+1. Especially given all the interest in the item, surely seller could have waited to hear back, knowing that it would easily sell to another interested party.

Also only my opinion

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