Hobby etiquette. Where has it gone?

[Leon]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Surprised nobody asked, but I was willing to pay 25 percent more than what the card was auctioned for.

Drew- Do you know how many people ask me about rare cards I have, and if I ever go to sell them, let them know? A whole lot.
When I am ready to sell, I will sell however I want to. No one is entitled to a first shot, even my friends. If I remember, I might reach out, but honestly I make little effort. I see friends with cards I would love to have and say the same thing to them. But I never, ever expect them to ask me first. I just throw it out there. And, if I ask, and I see them selling it the next day on the BST, or elsewhere, they are still my friend. It makes no difference to me.
,.

[MikeGarcia]

..approaching 100 posts without a card : so I'm rising from my sickbed to keep a sacred tradition alive :




I've tracked down this set's year of issue to 1941 , put out by Wheaties , available to listeners of the Jack Armstrong The All-American Boy Radio Program. The five baseball players in the set were all standouts in the 1941 All Star Game. ( The others are Mize , Reiser , Feller , and Dimaggio )

..

[jchcollins]

Originally Posted by Gorditadogg

Nice. Is it the round one or the tonneau? Either much better than your Apple, imo.



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I think it's formal name was the 218 Spaceview. As a kid, my Dad always just called it a skeleton watch. I was surprised when I started researching these when all manner of unique things were proven not to be with the proliferation of the internet - how many people apparently consider them ugly, lol. I always thought it was cool and still do...

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by OhioLawyerF5

If you disagree with anything in that post, YOU are the problem in the relationship. Everything I said was about being a decent human being and longsuffering and compassionate with people you care about. Those are not things to disagree with.

It has nothing to do with money.....except for YOU apparently. If it was about the relationship, you would be reacting differently. It's all about material goods for you. That much is clear.

Disagree for a second time

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by Leon

Drew- Do you know how many people ask me about rare cards I have, and if I ever go to sell them, let them know? A whole lot.
When I am ready to sell, I will sell however I want to. No one is entitled to a first shot, even my friends. If I remember, I might reach out, but honestly I make little effort. I see friends with cards I would love to have and say the same thing to them. But I never, ever expect them to ask me first. I just throw it out there. And, if I ask, and I see them selling it the next day on the BST, or elsewhere, they are still my friend. It makes no difference to me.
,.

While I respect what you are saying, I had a long term friendship where I thought he would give me an opportunity to buy the card. I guess I was wrong.

[raulus]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Surprised nobody asked, but I was willing to pay 25 percent more than what the card was auctioned for.

When you lay this on him, make sure to mention that he also would’ve saved real money on all of those selling costs that he paid to the AH, either as seller fees or as BP that the house retained.

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by raulus

When you lay this on him, make sure to mention that he also would’ve saved real money on all of those selling costs that he paid to the AH, either as seller fees or as BP that the house retained.

I am actually going to keep my mouth shut about this one

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by MikeGarcia

..approaching 100 posts without a card : so I'm rising from my sickbed to keep a sacred tradition alive :




I've tracked down this set's year of issue to 1941 , put out by Wheaties , available to listeners of the Jack Armstrong The All-American Boy Radio Program. The five baseball players in the set were all standouts in the 1941 All Star Game. ( The others are Mize , Reiser , Feller , and Dimaggio )

..

That thing is f'ing awesome! Never seen it before.

"When I am ready to sell, I will sell however I want to. No one is entitled to a first shot, even my friends. If I remember, I might reach out, but honestly I make little effort. I see friends with cards I would love to have and say the same thing to them. But I never, ever expect them to ask me first. I just throw it out there. And, if I ask, and I see them selling it the next day on the BST, or elsewhere, they are still my friend. It makes no difference to me."

100% agree, Leon. No one has a right to expect anyone else to sell their stuff to anyone or on anything but their own timeline and in any manner as they choose. I didn't de-friend the guy who sold the card I wanted, I just bought the card at auction and moved on. I still have the card and the friend.

[Eric72]

If it was my card, and I considered the person a friend, I’d at least give them the heads up that the card went to auction. If nothing else, that’s one more potential bidder. Plus, I tend to remember when a friend repeatedly expresses interest in something. Listening and paying attention is part of being a friend. Now, if it was a casual acquaintance, that’s a different story.

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by Eric72

If it was my card, and I considered the person a friend, I’d at least give them the heads up that the card went to auction. If nothing else, that’s one more potential bidder. Plus, I tend to remember when a friend repeatedly expresses interest in something. Listening and paying attention is part of being a friend. Now, if it was a casual acquaintance, that’s a different story.

Thanks Eric, that part seems to be lost on this board.

[Mark17]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Thanks Eric, that part seems to be lost on this board.

Suppose he had told you he'd decided to put it up for auction. Would you have tried to talk him out of it (and selling directly to you?)

[The Detroit Collector]

Originally Posted by Eric72

If it was my card, and I considered the person a friend, I’d at least give them the heads up that the card went to auction. If nothing else, that’s one more potential bidder. Plus, I tend to remember when a friend repeatedly expresses interest in something. Listening and paying attention is part of being a friend. Now, if it was a casual acquaintance, that’s a different story.

Agree with this. He should have at least started a conversation on price before sending it off. And it sounds like you brought up the card numerous times, so he wouldn't forget. Sounds like he thought he would get more money by going the AH route.

[OhioLawyerF5]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Thanks Eric, that part seems to be lost on this board.

Nothing is lost on anyone. He can be inconsiderate for not giving you the courtesty to at least mention he was selling it, while at the same time you can be wrong for being upset with a friend for something so minor.

[GeoPoto]

"Sounds like he thought he would get more money by going the AH route."

What is wrong with getting more money?

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[raulus]

Originally Posted by GeoPoto

"Sounds like he thought he would get more money by going the AH route."

What is wrong with getting more money?

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Except that he got significantly less by going the AH route…

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by Mark17

Suppose he had told you he'd decided to put it up for auction. Would you have tried to talk him out of it (and selling directly to you?)

No, I would have tried to bid on it.

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by OhioLawyerF5

Nothing is lost on anyone. He can be inconsiderate for not giving you the courtesty to at least mention he was selling it, while at the same time you can be wrong for being upset with a friend for something so minor.

Man, we are on a roll. Disagree for a third time.

I do not consider this to be minor.

[The Detroit Collector]

Originally Posted by GeoPoto

"Sounds like he thought he would get more money by going the AH route."

What is wrong with getting more money?

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There's nothing wrong, but if I had a friend that had a card I really wanted, I would make a fair offer, maybe even higher depending on how bad I wanted the card.

OP says he would have spent 25% more for what it went for.

You can go the AH route, there's nothing wrong with that. The problem is the friend didnt even mention he was selling the card. He didnt even start a potential pricing discussion with the friend.

[OhioLawyerF5]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Man, we are on a roll. Disagree for a third time.

I do not consider this to be minor.

And that's why I'm not friends with drama queens. This is minor. If you let something like a baseball card come between you and a friend, you were never a friend to begin with. That's just sad.

Edit to add: You can save yourself the time. I know you will simply disagree. We get it. You are incapable of self-reflection and ownership of your part in a problem. Others wrong you. You have no responsibility for how you react. :rollseyes:

[Exhibitman]

Gotta go with Timothy there. I (hope) I am not so peevish and petty as to allow a baseball card that wasn't even mine to wreck a friendship. It's not like he cheated you on an actual deal you made or stole your card, he just sold a card that he owned and that you wanted via public auction. The real crux of your complaint is that you missed the auction.

Time to move along: at this point all you are doing is convincing a lot of other people that being friends with you comes with some baggage.

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by raulus

Except that he got significantly less by going the AH route…

There's a non-zero amount of poetic justice in that particular outcome.

[OhioLawyerF5]

Originally Posted by Eric72

There's a non-zero amount of poetic justice in that particular outcome.

Was it poetic justice? Or a small price to pay to not have to negotiate with someone who lets baseball cards come between friends? I suspect the seller exercised some wisdom in bypassing that fun little task.

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by OhioLawyerF5

Was it poetic justice? Or a small price to pay to not have to negotiate with someone who lets baseball cards come between friends? I suspect the seller exercised some wisdom in bypassing that fun little task.

From my perspective, yes. The seller knew there was someone very interested in their card. They sent it to an AH and chose not to tell a prospective buyer the card had become available. As a direct result of this, the seller got less money.

Forget friendships. The seller could have made more money with a little courtesy. Whatever their motivation, they chose poorly and it cost them.

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by OhioLawyerF5

Was it poetic justice? Or a small price to pay to not have to negotiate with someone who lets baseball cards come between friends? I suspect the seller exercised some wisdom in bypassing that fun little task.

To be clear, I’m only suggesting the seller should have said something while the auction was live. Obviously, this is much different than one-to-one negotiations.

[GeoPoto]

"Except that he got significantly less by going the AH route…"

My problem with this whole conversation is that it seems predicated on the notion that it should be easy to agree on a valuation that is within the 22 percent BP. For most pre-war cards that just is not true. Cards that rarely appear could go anywhere at auction and cards that do appear fairly often vary substantially based on eye appeal, which is inherently subjective. I regularly sell pre-war cards at auction that go for two or three times (and sometimes half) what I expect.

I realize the OP says he would have paid more, but that is all in hindsight. When the card was consigned, the seller could well have expected it to fetch much more than it did. Why the seller didn't alert the OP to the auction is a mystery that may be explained best by his comments on this post, as our friend from Ohio has summarized.

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[Yoda]

If you don't have any friends, it's not a problem.

[parkplace33]

Since the holiday season is coming, I encourage members to read A Christmas Carol. I think there are lessons that could be learned for several members:

Kindness and love are more valuable than money: The pursuit of wealth can lead to isolation and unhappiness, while generosity and love for others bring true joy

[JollyElm]

When someone screams at me that I'm a Scrooge, I say, "Thanks. That's frickin' awesome...I appreciate it!!"

I just assume they're talking about the incredibly kind and joyous, life-affirming man about town he was at the end of the story.

[hawaiian bam bam]

It’s not just the hobby but society in general seems to be trending toward lazy, rude, ahole people! An example of where our hobby is going/trending toward , I went to my local target and they must of had 25-30 2025 topps basketball blaster boxes. A crap load! Enough for everyone that wanted would to get one if they choose. I went back today and they are all gone! Just like that! Im sure some hobby gambler bought all of them! My point is our hobby is filled with gamblers now instead of true collectors. They don’t care about the hobby or collecting just about getting their gamblers high/fix! They have no respect for our hobby Thats where the rude no courtesy idiots comes from!

[Mark17]

Originally Posted by hawaiian bam bam

It’s not just the hobby but society in general seems to be trending toward lazy, rude, ahole people! An example of where our hobby is going/trending toward , I went to my local target and they must of had 25-30 2025 topps basketball blaster boxes. A crap load! Enough for everyone that wanted would to get one if they choose. I went back today and they are all gone! Just like that! Im sure some hobby gambler bought all of them! My point is our hobby is filled with gamblers now instead of true collectors. They don’t care about the hobby or collecting just about getting their gamblers high/fix! They have no respect for our hobby Thats where the rude no courtesy idiots comes from!

I don't see how someone buying basketball cards warrants such vitriol. And if you wanted some, why not buy them when you first saw them, rather than lamenting the fact they were subsequently sold out.

[OhioLawyerF5]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Since the holiday season is coming, I encourage members to read A Christmas Carol. I think there are lessons that could be learned for several members:

Kindness and love are more valuable than money: The pursuit of wealth can lead to isolation and unhappiness, while generosity and love for others bring true joy

Yes, kindness and love demand forgiveness and overlooking mistakes and perceived slights that our friends commit toward us. Friendships are more valuable than baseball cards.

When you're done reading A Christmas Carol, let us know.

[hawaiian bam bam]

Originally Posted by Mark17

I don't see how someone buying basketball cards warrants such vitriol. And if you wanted some, why not buy them when you first saw them, rather than lamenting the fact they were subsequently sold out.

It’s not in reference to those that are buying a box or two but now so for those
that you see on social media that are putting all 25-30 boxes in their shopping cart! I mean who needs 25-30 boxes of any product? Unless they are trying to flip then or have a gamblers itch! (I didn’t want any as I do t collect basketball, I was just stating my observations).

[Aquarian Sports Cards]

I'll never understand people getting mad at other people for buying items publicly available in a store...

[bnorth]

Originally Posted by Aquarian Sports Cards

I'll never understand people getting mad at other people for buying items publicly available in a store...

and for something that has been happening since the 80s when I started collecting. I never actively searched and bought out places. When we went to a Shopko in a nearby town I would usually buy out all their baseball. They always seemed to have amazing deals on wax boxes.

[Mark17]

Originally Posted by hawaiian bam bam

It’s not in reference to those that are buying a box or two but now so for those
that you see on social media that are putting all 25-30 boxes in their shopping cart! I mean who needs 25-30 boxes of any product? Unless they are trying to flip then or have a gamblers itch! (I didn’t want any as I do t collect basketball, I was just stating my observations).

I've never been inclined to sit in judgement over how many cards other people "need."

I've also never had a problem with people buying things to resell at a profit. Since I was in junior high school, I've always either been full-time self-employed, or I've been running my business as a sideline, but in either case, I'm always interested in buying things I can resell for a profit.

And I've never felt compelled to apologize for participating in the business, or at times hobby, of capitalism.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Since the holiday season is coming, I encourage members to read A Christmas Carol. I think there are lessons that could be learned for several members:

Kindness and love are more valuable than money: The pursuit of wealth can lead to isolation and unhappiness, while generosity and love for others bring true joy

"God bless us, everyone.' Tiny Tim.

[Section103]

Originally Posted by Yoda

If you don't have any friends, it's not a problem.

You cant argue with this logic. Also doesnt hurt to have cards that nobody else wants.

[brianp-beme]

Originally Posted by Section103

You cant argue with this logic. Also doesnt hurt to have cards that nobody else wants.

Where did all my collecting friends go when I was trying to unload these?


Brian